Jack Kelly Unsure Of How Many Legs Ducks Have

Jack Kelly, the at-large City Councilman, who has proposed the foy grass ban, is running for re-election along with the rest of council. He’s in a tough fight with upstart fellow at-large candidate David Oh, and so he’s totally pulling out all the stops by, uh, using cute dogs to get the public’s attention. (The other minority party at-large candidate, Frank Rizzo Jr., could probably run a dogfighting ring and still get elected.)

A billboard on I-95 in the Northeast attempts to get the public’s vote: “Jack Kelly. Fighting for everyone. Two legged. And four-legged.” Ducks, of course, have two legs, so presumably Kelly is attempting to get the dog-lover vote. Or maybe he wants the all-important Barbaro fan support!

Anyway, Kelly explained his support to Metro: “I love animals. I’ll be first one to admit a weak spot for them. The three groups most vulnerable are children, seniors and animals. I’m sorry, I can’t help it.” Oh, man, he’s using the “think of the children/seniors/animals” platform. Next he’s going to run an ad where David Oh is elected and a nuke hits Philly.

Protecting “four-legged” friends? [Metropolis]