What’s Black And White And Spread All Over?

Hey, Philly and the shore might have shoplifting grandparents, but do they have a criminal with a catchy name and possibly his own theme music?

After almost six months of staking out the area, police in Buckingham, Bucks County have finally caught The Route 413 Paper Shredder.

Thomas D. Garity was charged with three counts of littering, which could lead to a fine of up to $900. He allegedly shredded paper and scattered it around the road “at least 100 times.”

Garity told police he bought a copy of The Philadelphia Inquirer at a shop in Wrightstown every morning and kept it in his truck for a few days. When he got tired of looking at it, he allegedly tore it into 3-inch-wide strips and tossed them out the window.

Damn! The Inquirer ought to be pissed; they just lost a paying customer. Meanwhile, the cops who staked out his territory for night after night are finally happy this thing’s over: “I’ve been bugging my corporals here, saying, “I want this guy caught.’ It’s not like it’s a major crime of the century. But it’s shredded paper. And when the wind hits, it’s all over. It’s a mess.”

Police nab Route 413 paper shredder [The Intelligencer]