Oct3 |
Dear Phillies: I Want You BackEarlier this year — on April 10, when the Phillies were 1-6 — Daniel McQuade quizzo partner and friend Shannon McLaughlin broke up with the Phillies on this blog. Now that they’re in the playoffs for the first time in 14 years, she cracked and attempted to get them back after Sunday’s win. Her drunken email to the Phillies is below.
Phillies: You were so right. You were always so right. God, I’m so stupid. Seriously, how could I be so stupid? What’s wrong with me? I thought I knew what I was doing, being so strong and independent and all that crap last spring. God, I was listening to all this Lily Allen and everything, and it was just all so messed up. I thought I’d be fine without you. I should have listened to my married friends, you know? They get it about the ups and downs and everything. Like that it sucks sometimes, right? I mean, sometimes it’s hard and it sucks. Like that time in May. When you just couldn’t get – nevermind. It’s fine now. It’s fine. I don’t even care about that anymore. Phillies, I forgive everything. Seriously. It’s ok about that thing with Joe Carter. Really, I don’t even remember it anymore. And even that time with that girl on the street in Boston. It’s OK. I believe in you. I believe, baby. Everything’s fine now. I just want it to be like it was. OK? I was wearing your shirt again yesterday, and I’ll be honest – I’ve been drinking. Just a little lager. But it felt so right. I was listening to that tape you made me back in high school. Remember? The one with “Strike it Up” and “Whoomp, There it Is” on it? God, the things we used to do that CD… Baby, take me back. I need to be back in your pinstriped embrace. Please tell me it’s fine and you’ll take me back. I’ve been so stupid. Just call me tonight later on, OK? Or tomorrow. You can call me tomorrow. I’ll just keep my phone on at work. Or you know what, I’ll just stay home. I’ll have the phone on next to my bed. So just call me. xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxxo Archives: Dear John: Philadelphia Phillies |
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If she’s hot like chrissmari I’ll fuck her.
You should score this missive with Ghostface Killah’s “Tooken Back”