Philadelphia Will Do  
 

Oct

2

Vince Fumo, No Shoes And No Arrests: A Phillies Party

100207dmacshirt.jpg

I was late to Sunday’s Phillies game. This wasn’t a mistake on my part, even though I did wake up at around 1 p.m. for a 1:30 game. I like to arrive late to Phillies games, especially when someone like Jamie Moyer is pitching. The best case scenario in the top of the first is a 1-2-3 inning, something the starting pitcher is supposed to be able to do in the top of the first.

The worst case scenario? An over-40 pitcher could give up seven runs.

As I bounded up the Broad Street Subway steps around 1:40, a dude next to me was on the phone. “Seven-nothing? The Mets are down 7-0?” he questioned in more of a yell. I turned to him. “What? You’ve got to be kidding.”

“No, Glavine gave up seven runs in the first inning! He didn’t even make it out of the first.”

I called my parents. I had to make sure. I learned the kid wasn’t lying. Top of the first: Marlins 7, Mets 0. I trotted the light-year length walk from the subway to the stadium, and a parking guard stopped me. “Hey, what’s the Mets score?”

“Seven-zip, Marlins. First inning.”

“All right! Let’s go win us a championship!”


I jogged into the gate, picking up my rally towel (later dropped) and my Jimmy Rollins mosaic print (later given to a little girl who I heard complaining she had lost hers). And when J-Roll singled to open the top of the first, then stole second and third, I knew the Phillies were going to win. You coulda ended the game right there.

When Adam Eaton gave up a first-inning run on Saturday afternoon’s game, I got the same feeling in reverse. I actually knew the game was pretty much over before that, though, when a fan a few rows in front of me attempted to start the wave in the top of the first inning. You, superfan, you cost us the game.

But, Sunday, that was just a nine-inning party. There were moments of hilarity during the game, especially related to a fan giveaway from the Phanatic’s shirt. When the Phillie Phanatic was dancing between innings, PA announcer Dan Baker interrupted him and ordered crew members to take off his shirt so a fan could get it. And when Baker announced the winner in a Club Suite, the place went nuts with boos. It made me proud to be a Philadelphia fan.

The real fun didn’t start ’til after the game, though. When Brett Myers struck out Willy Mo Pena to win the game, the celebration was on. They even played “Whoomp, There it is!” over the PA system. People hugged strangers and high-fived everybody in a red shirt.

I walked down to find a friend (Johnny Goodtimes, who has to get the skyline shaved into his head and change his name to Johnny Skyline if the Phils win the World Series) so we could celebrate with more strangers. As we were walking out, we compared the game to other great events in history — the Moon Landing, V-J Day — and wondered where all the bootleg t-shirt sellers were.

“What?” I said. “They couldn’t flip the switch from ‘Romo’s a Homo’ to ‘Phillies NL East Champions’ in time to sell bootleg shirts postgame? The Phillies were up five runs!” (I assume there is some sort of factory in South Philly that churns these things out.)

Then, we saw it: Two people wearing horrible bootleg t-shirts. “Hey, where’d you get those?” Johnny asked, and suddenly a shady character emerged, perhaps materializing out of thin air.

“How many you need?” he said. He didn’t appear to have any shirts on him. Then he pulled up his pant leg, revealing several shirts tied around his leg. Ahh, a discrete t-shirt seller. The shirts weren’t as ugly as normal bootleg shirts, but were certainly screenprinted and still smelled. I was afraid the paint was going to wash off on my hand when I touched the shirt. (I ended up with a real championship shirt as well.)

We put on our shirts and bounded down to the subway. The celebration was just beginning. By the time we got to Walnut, we were ready to party. And party we did, when we spotted Art — yes, all the local stars of the Internet were there — standing in the middle of Broad Street with about four or five other people.

We walked over to the median. What happened next was the stuff of legend. The Phillies win might not have been better than the moon landing, but this certainly was. It began as a simple little crew of five people, getting cars to honk, hugging strangers and high-fiving people with open windows when the cars stopped. By the end, there were 100 or so people in the median, tons more on the sidewalk and everybody was whooping it up. Cars were driving by several times just to party.

One of the cars that drove by twice was none other than State Sen. Vince Fumo, who drives an imposing black SUV. (Of course.) We even had our own panhandler asking the reveling fans for change. The cops were called out — I counted fourteen — and one of them took photos with his cell phone. We were all jumping around in the street during one red light, and the party ended when somebody yelled “Now let’s all go get drunk!” Which we did.

The highlight of the impromptu party, though, was a woman wearing no shoes and standing at the corner of Broad and Walnut, who simply yelled: “Whoomp, there it is! You’re all gonna be arrested!”

Really, does anything sum up the Phillies better than that? Let’s get ready to celebrate a lot more in the coming weeks. Whoomp, there it is. Now let’s nobody get arrested.
 
dmac | 1:14 PM | 29 Comments
Phillies, Shoeless Women, Too Long; Didn't Read, Vince Fumo, Whoomp! There It Is!
 
  1. ALB Says: Oct 2 2:19 PM

    What a useless blog post. You can’t write that much and not mention photos of Alycia Lane in a bikini.

  2. ALB Says: Oct 2 2:29 PM

    What a useless blog post. You can’t write that much and not mention photos of Alycia Lane in a bikini.

  3. mike Says: Oct 2 2:49 PM

    This post was awesome. It made me re-live the awesomeness of those post-Phillies win hours all over.

    Also, can we somehow get “Whoomp there it is” to be the official theme song of the Phillies postseason run? PLEEEEASE!

  4. chrissmari Says: Oct 2 2:59 PM

    if “Whoomp there it is” is going to be the official song of anything, I’m going to be arrested–for murder.

    What’s wrong with WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?! wasn’t that a song of some losing philly team?

  5. SHF Says: Oct 2 3:05 PM

    Let’s make some “whoompy” chrissmari. We both want to fuck, so why fight it?

  6. chrissmari Says: Oct 2 4:50 PM

    sure, meet me at the continental old city at 5. i’ll be the one with the pointy shoes and the kade spade bag.

  7. SHF Says: Oct 2 4:54 PM

    Sounds good. I’ll be wearing spandex.

  8. Art Says: Oct 2 5:14 PM

    Can I suggest the Kaiser Chiefs “I predict a riot.” I was predicting one as our median crew swooned from 5 to 100 and the police showed up. And I guarantee one if we win it all. I’m flipping a Hummer H2, preferably yellow.

  9. Lynn Says: Oct 2 6:40 PM

    I thought the official Phillies postseason song was “High Hopes”.

  10. mike Says: Oct 2 6:57 PM

    There is no song with lyrics as fitting to the Phillies’ improbable post-season run as “Whoomp! There it is!” (punctuation added by me for dramtic effect.)

    “Wreck it? Let’s begin. Party people, let me hear some noise. DC’s in the house? Jump, jump and rejoice! There’s a party over here? A party over there? Wave your hands in the air… shake the deriere. These three words mean you’re gettin’ busy. Whoomp! There it is! Whoomp! There it is!”

    Come on guys. That says Phils all the way.

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