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Abridged ‘Daily News’ ColumnistsElmer Smith: Woo-hoo! A whole column about Bono and no puns on U2 songs. Jill Porter: Yeah, if you call your elected officials or something, things will change? |
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Calling those people and asking for change is like calling DMAC and asking him to posts those photos of Alycia Lane in a bikini.
What we really need is to elect more beautiful women who are willing to wear bikinis during public speeches and stuff. That way there will be some consolation when they turn out to be incompetent fools.
“George Bush, Bono’s Hearts Beat As One”
“Beautiful Day In Philadelphia”
“Nothing Mysterious About Bono’s Charitable Ways”
“Liberty Medal Finds What It’s Looking For”
“Wide Awake In America, Receiving The Liberty Medal”
“Achtung Baby, You’re Getting an Award”
“Hold Me, Thrill Me, Award Me, Kill Me”
“The Sweetest Thing (Is Getting a Liberty Medal)”
What if you were the One searching Where the Streets Have No Name but you Still Haven’t Found what (you’re) Looking for by way of food and shelter in these Mysterious Ways of life?? Would the the asbolution of Third World Debt create a Beautiful Day? Frontman of the Irish Rock Band U2, Bono says “yes”.
The Bulletin must hire me NOW!
I’ll “hire” you alright.