Sep25 |
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Hilarious Asleep Employees To Kill Us All
New York’sCBS 2 — or as it calls itself “CBS 2 HD” — reports a little funny anecdote from the nuclear power plant in York County: The guards are asleep on the job! Ha ha! Reporter Scott Weinberger attempts to scare us all by letting us know that employees at the Peach Bottom Nuclear Plant — pretty far west of Philadelphia, but close in terms of “nuclear fallout” — are asleep on the job and terrorists could just waltz in and presumably… hell, I dunno. Aren’t there locks on the doors? The guy at the Nuclear Regulatory Commission said, “Clearly we’re concerned about what we saw,” but as you know, we’re only concerned with Lite Brites promoting Cartoon Network movies and how many more Guantanamo Bays the next president will build. But if television has taught me anything, all that goes on in a nuclear power plant is donut eating by Lenny and Carl and if there’s a meltdown Homer will manage to save us all anyway. Phew. |
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What they don’t know, and the authorities won’t reveal, is that the sleeping guards are just a decoy. If terrorists show up, Alycia Lane will come out of hiding, wearing a bikini, and, like the Pied Piper, lead them all to their death in the nuclear waste vat.
Best ALB comment ever.
I work security at a nuke plant (no, not peach bottom, not even in the vacinity) and sure, people do stupid crap, but when it comes down to it, we all know the resposibilty we hold in our hands. It’s our families and communities, too, at stake if something were to conspire. These guys were major goofs, and not typical of our profession…
I’ve known several nuclear power plant guards and they were all lazy bums. You guys are all high school dropouts who couldn’t find a job anywhere else.
All the kids in Springfield are S.O.B.’s.