Angels Move From Onion Rings To Wooden Doors

It must be fun being NBC 10 Jersey Shore bureau reporter Ted Greenberg. Two days ago, he covered the car crash that saved a man from choking to death on onion rings. (I just write this stuff, I don’t make it up.)

And the big story Greenberg had yesterday: Well, of course, it was a Cape May County woman who sees angels in the doors of her business, making this the second straight day angels have played a role in Greenberg’s reporter.

As far as signs from God go, this is kind of a lame one. (Sorry, Lord.) Okay, crashing a car so an onion ring would become dislodged isn’t quite the sun dancing in the sky, turning water into wine or a burning bush (or, uh, raising from the dead), but saving a man’s life seems like a pretty good use of angels.

But, uh, markings in a door? Of a business? First spotted by a massage therapist? (Also, personally, I feel those look more like the penultimate boss in Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, but maybe that’s just me.

Of course, not everyone’s seeing angels, either.

“I see the Shroud of Turin, it looks like the Shroud of Turin. Here it looks like where the nails were in the hands,” Michael Conte, of Mays Landing, N.J., said.

“I do see sort of a face there. Maybe an old fisherman or something, I hope I don’t get struck by lightning but it looks a little bit sinister to me,” Jim Walmsley, of Ocean City, said.

“It looks like something like Big Foot from behind, with hoofs,” Pete Quali, of Ocean City, said.

Ahh, so it’s either Bigfoot, Santiago from The Old Man and the Sea or angels. All kind of the same thing.

Woman Claims To See Angels In Doors [NBC 10]
Yesterday: Update: Onion Rings Of Death And Miraculous Car Crash
Yesterday: Fast Food Nearly Kills Someone Quickly This Time