Have It Your Way (If ‘Your Way’ Means ‘With A Mouse’)

Noted gourmet restaurant chain Burger King recently had a little problem at a location in Montgomery County. It seems a customer at a BK in Abington was sitting there, enjoying his whopper, when suddenly he spotted two mice near his table.

The mice — we’ll call them Mickey and Minnie — were running around, stealing whoppers, eating French fries, drinking milkshakes, ordering kids’ meals. Or they were just skittering around in the dining area. A health inspector stopped by and decided the restaurant should stay open.

An inspector did find mice in the dining area, but:”The inspector did not see mice in the food preparation area.”

Health Department spokeswoman Harriet Morton says because no imminent health threat was found, the restaurant was allowed to remain open.

The mice are now gone, so you can now enjoy disgusting fast food without disgusting critters running around your feet. Hooray!

Local Burger King Allowed to Stay Open After Mouse Found [KYW 1060]

Leftovers: Kill All The Doves, Before It’s Too Late

• Next month, Pennsylvanians won’t be able to buy guns for a short time because the state will be upgrading the background checks system it uses. It’s near the start of dove hunting season, and apparently you can’t buy guns in August or need a new gun every year or something. (And who deserves more bullets in ‘em than those dastardly doves, symbol of war.) The state could just use the federal government’s system, but that would save money. [Metro]

• But wait! Ed Rendell will look into it and strikes back against some idiot who said the background check shutdown was a liberal plot from Philadelphia to… prevent people from buying new guns for a few days? What’s actually sad is how many people probably believed him. [Inquirer]

• Oh, man. Britt Reid is in police custody for suspicion of drunk driving, sadly enough. [6 ABC]

• And a registered sex offender allegedly killed the Welsh tourist in Margate. He’ll have a fun time in prison. [NBC 10]

• Golden puppy! [Daily Puppy]

Marcus Hayes Will No Longer Talk To Dorks Like You

Hey! So somebody posting as “Marcus Hayes” posted to the blog entry the other day where I linked the email posted on a Phillies blog.

Let’s all enjoy it below.

Numberheads,

Just letting you blogicians know:
No longer will you, or anyone else, be afforded the privilege (burden?) of corresponding with me. When I reply to an individual it is intended to be a confidential response. Since I can’t trust you, I assume I can’t trust anyone.
It is not meant to be posted on anyone’s blog, and certainly not on a for-profit entity of a direct competitor.
So, no more responses. Can’t trust you, so don’t bother writing.
But then, if you hold my replies in such low esteem, why bother writing?
Of course, this gives many of you more time for your World of Warcraft RPG endeavors.
Happy gaming.
Hope the eczema clears up.
M

Between this and Mark B. Cohen, this is pretty much the greatest week for comments ever. Now can somebody tell me what the hell “World of Warcraft” is?

Tuesday: Marcus Hayes Will Not Tolerate Your Criticism, Nerd

Local Flasher Leads Colorful Life (Duh)

Ahh, yes. The flasher. Yesterday, the son of Judge Lisa Richette was arrested for allegedly punching, uh, Judge Lisa Richette. NBC 10’s Monique Braxton went to Larry Richette’s home in G-Ho and asked him for comment. He responded, of course, by opening up his robe and showing his ding-a-ling.

The Inquirer’s Joseph Slobodzian fleshes out the story today, adding crucial details, including that he used to be an editor at City Paper. (Perhaps as part of an alt-weekly battle, I can get Steven Wells to walk around Rittenhouse in a robe, flashing TV reporters.)

Judge Richette isn’t cooperating with the police investigation of her only son, according to sources. While her son has had several run-ins with the law, he hasn’t been convicted of anything. (Duh.)

In October 2005, he was charged with disorderly conduct and the case was referred to Philadelphia Community Court, the branch of Municipal Court created with the help of the Center City District to dispose of minor “quality-of-life crimes” that ordinarily would not be prosecuted because of the caseload of major cases facing the District Attorney’s Office. Court records show that Richette, a writer, former political editor for the Philadelphia City Paper and sometime Democratic activist, failed to appear for his hearing and a bench warrant was issued for his arrest. He does not appear to have been arrested, and the case remains open.

Richette also has a 2001 arrest for driving under the influence, which court records say was withdrawn by the prosecutor’s office, and a 1992 arrest for criminal mischief that also was not prosecuted. In 1987, he was charged with swearing at and then pushing a city police officer after he was brought in following an auto accident in Society Hill. He was acquitted by a Municipal Court judge who admonished him to be more respectful of law-enforcement officers.

He’s also self-published a bunch of books, which I am going to go purchase right now.

Son charged in attack on judge [Inquirer]

Mark Cohen Would Like You To Know His Penis Is Not Afraid Of Itself

Here is what’s funny: When state lawmakers say things like, “All over the country, people live longer lives because of me.” Here is what’s funnier: When state lawmakers propose a Phillyblog Day. Here’s what’s even funnier: When state lawmakers make a post about reaching a certain number of posts on Phillyblog.

Even funnier than that is when state lawmakers go through and make a list of the posters on an Internet messageboard with 1,000 posts or more. And even funnier than that is when there’s a sort by posts, descending order feature on said messageboard but the lawmaker doesn’t know about it so he goes through and calculates all the top posts by hand.

And, of course, even funnier than that is when state lawmakers tell reporters they’re being libeled because of comments on a blog that are posted by “MBC Penis” and say “I feel threatened by philly blog and Rep. Mark B. Cohen’s penis.”

More »

Everyone At Camden Catholic Wins Masters

Shocking news in Camden New Jersey, as a local Catholic school is making its students adhere to a dress code!

Ahh, yes, what a shocking development. A Catholic school being overly concerned with uniforms or a dress code? No!

Camden Catholic High School’s top administrators have implemented a new dress code that bars incoming freshman girls from wearing pants as part of their school uniform and prohibits both sexes in all grades from wearing polo-style shirts.

And for the first time since the 1970s, incoming freshman and successive classes will don a green blazer as part of their school uniform: button-up shirt and tie for boys, button-up blouse and plaid kilt for girls.

I went to a ritzy — squirrels did come into the school and chew the windows, so I guess it wasn’t all that ritzy — all-boys Catholic high school in the suburbs, and while we didn’t have a uniform, we all had to adhere to a slacks/shirt/tie/blazer in the winter dress code. (If you forgot your belt or wore white socks, you’d have to clean up after lunch.)

As such, I am well aware of the Catholic school penchant to worry about unimportant things like whether your top button of your shirt is buttoned. But since I had to wear a blazer in high school, these punk kids nowadays should have to wear one, too. All the better if they have to wear a hideous green jacket, a style usually only found on Masters winners.

The polo shirt ban has become controversial, apparently, because students don’t want to have to wear ties all year and, as kids, they like to whine a lot. (Duh. Weren’t you a kid at one point? If you’re reading this blog, aren’t you mentally one now?) Students passed around petitions asking to be able to continue to wear polo shirts, but the administrators ignored them because it’s Catholic school.

Camden Catholic tightens dress code [Camden Courier-Post]

Cute Wittle Doggies Attack Owner

Earlier this week, the good ladies over at Jezebel — Do men read blogs for women because (1) they’re good and (2) girls are cute? Yes, yes they do — wrote about an alarming number of animals-attack-humans stories in the news.

It was as if the little cutesy balls of fur decided to turn on us because we give them homes and food and pet them and love them, or possibly because we also fight them and race them and make their livers big and slaughter them for food.

Now, the panic has spread to Philadelphia, as a Wissinoming woman was attacked by her own pit bulls, perhaps as retaliation for Michael Vick’s actions, the first dogfighting that has ever taken place in the United States. She’s in stable condition.

And, yes, this is just an excuse to run another puppy photo. Hey, it’s a slow news week. I mean, have you seen Metro? (More on this later.)

Today God’s Creatures Opened Up A Can Of Whup-Ass [Jezebel]
Philadelphia Woman Attacked By Her Own Dogs [KYW 1060]

Coming Soon, Pregnant Sex Videos

It’s nice to see the Inquirer has jumped right past regular porn and gone right into old man-and-woman porn in an attempt to drive traffic to the site. Geeze, and you think the Eagles cutting Jeremiah Trotter would have been what really drove people to Philly.com.

Sex in the later years | with video [Inquirer]

Abridged ‘Daily News’ Columnists

Stu Bykoyfsky: Apparently, Stu has been calling witnesses in criminal cases “snitches” until now.

Ronnie Polaneczky: Hey, how about a skate park in Philadelphia? We can call it LOVE Park.

Michael Smerconish: I voted for Bush twice, and now I think Charlie Manuel should get an extension!

Debbie Woodell: That 700-year-old guy who has no shot at winning the presidency is the guy gays are going to vote for.

Man Does What We All Want To Do To Local TV News

Common Please Judge Lisa Richette doesn’t quite have the best luck. Twenty years ago, she was hit by a purse snatcher. In 2005, she was punched on the street. About a year ago, she was attacked by a woman while sitting in her car.

And now, her son, 48-year-old Lawrence Richette, is charged with aggravated assault and related charges after allegedly punching her.

NBC 10 then went to Lawrence’s house:

When NBC 10 went to Lawrence Richette’s home Wednesday afternoon, he opened the door in a robe, asked if the cameras were rolling and flashed the reporter and photojournalist for a few seconds. He closed his robe and said, “That’s what I think of TV news.”

As you can see from the photo, he clearly is the person you fantasize most about seeing naked.

My advice to you is: Head to the NBC 10 slideshow, hit play, put your feet up, and enjoy the frame-by-frame deconstruction of the Great NBC 10 Flashing of 2007.

Phila. Judge Lisa Richette’s Son Charged with Assaulting Her; Later, He Flashes Reporter [KYW 1060]
Man Accused Of Beating Judge Mom Flashes NBC 10 [NBC 10]
Man Flashes NBC 10 After Assault Charges (Warning: Disturbing Images) [NBC 10]