Ride The Ducks To Expand, Blob-Like

Having made trillions in the tourism/plastic duck bill quacker industry, the people at Ride the Ducks are attempting to branch out, probably because when they say “I own Ride the Ducks” they get punched in the face. And, naturally, the next logical step after “duck boats” is “aquariums,” so the Ride th Ducks people are hoping to purchase the Adventure Aquarium.

The aquarium, former the Camden Aquarium or New Jersey State Aquarium or something, appeals to five-year-olds who like the word “adventure.” This makes it a logical purchase for RtD’s owners (Herschend Family Entertainment Group), because then they’ll own something in the area people actually don’t hate. (Tourists, as you may remember, love Ride the Ducks because it signed the Declaration of Independence.)

After purchasing the Camden Aquarium, the Ride the Ducks people will be able to send their passengers over to Camden, where the boats will hopefully break down and leave them stranded.

“Ride the Duck” Owners Interested in NJ Aquarium [KYW 1060]
Monday: Tourists Deserve Your Scorn As Much As You Thought