Philly’s Ridiculously Eventful (Mostly Bad) Sports Day

Er, I guess. A lot of stuff went down yesterday, and none of it involved the teams who are currently awful — the Sixers, who we all know are awful, and the Flyers, who are awful until proven otherwise — so let’s do a couple of recaps.

• As you may have read yesterday, the Eagles released Jeremiah Trotter, the four-time Pro Bowler who once anchored the defense — and helped the Eagles make Super Bowl 39. (Roman numerals are stupider than the metric system.) Although Trotter is only 30, his knees are about 55. Trotter is looking to head for another team, though he had a somewhat weird, emotional goodbye to the Eagles. The defensive players were kind of upset. Trotter will probably head to the Denver Broncos, following Allen Iverson, as all of Philadelphia’s most popular players will head to higher altitude. I was so unsure of how to finish this I stole the previous joke from my mom. (All Jeremiah Trotter references for the rest of this year will be accompanied by references to my mom, most likely.)

• Omar Gaither will be the one replacing the Axeman. He got a call from Trotter Monday night: “The first thing he said was, ‘Congratulations.’ He explained everything to me. That means the world to me. That’s the first thing you should know about me. There’s no bad blood between us. The fact that he came out today and did what he did shows that he has my back, which helps me as far as my teammates are concerned. He told me he’d be praying for me, and I really appreciate it.” Dammit, now I’m going to miss Jeremiah Trotter even more, personality-wise, at least. Moves like this, though, make me appreciate the Eagles management — if Trotter were a Phillie he’d be here ’til 2015 at least.

Some Fightins stuff follows.

• The good news: The Phillies rallied (!) to top the Dodgers and are tied for first in the Wild Card again. The bad news: Cole Hamels is hurt. Or, actually, no, he might not be hurt, but he is missing tomorrow’s scheduled start to get an MRI on his left elbow. It could be nothing; it could be serious. Knowing the Phillies luck, Hamels will actually have severe gangrene in his arm and it’ll have to be amputated. Taking his place in the rotation tonight: Real Deal Durbin. Aww, yeah!

• And here are some guys who could possibly replace Chase Utley. Wow. Quite a list. Remember preseason, when the Phillies had too many starting pitchers? I suppose it doesn’t help the Phils shuffled one of their best starters, Brett Myers, off to the bullpen.

• Oh, here’s some good Phillies news: Chase Utley is back! Well, not back yet, but he could return to the lineup by next week. The women of Philadelphia are psyched.

• Now let’s all ignore this Hardball Times article, please: “Players coming off wrist and hand injuries rarely regain their normal power levels for up to a year after the injury. Even if he can regain his power stroke in less than a year, he sure as heck isn’t going to find it in September…. The standard guideline for that power drop is at least 12 months.” Aggh, I told you not to read it!

• Former Roman Catholic star Eddie Griffin was killed when his car hit a train last Friday. He was only identified by dental records yesterday. He was 25. Nothing more to say but this is very sad.