Aug7 |
 |
Punk Kids Ruining Bars Now, Too
With the smoking ban in place since whenever the second version of the bill went into effect — early January? — our bars are now free of the lung cancer and everyone just goes outside to smoke. Or something like that; all my science knowledge comes from episodes of Beakman’s World I’m only half paying attention to. But since it is now illegal to smoke in bars, a much more sinister pollutant has wafted into our city’s restaurants. I’m speaking, of course, of children. Yes, lots of parents now bring their kids to good old fashioned bar/restaurants — the ever popular gastro-pub — instead of going to Denny’s. And while this means business is up, it also means there are punk kids in Standard Tap, Monk’s and probably even Dirty Frank’s. Okay, probably not Dirty Frank’s. And the kids are, apparently, not just annoying punk kids. They’re super-smart kids, perhaps from Baby’s Day Out or that creepy movie where the babies become geniuses (Baby Geniuses?). The co-owner of the Standard Tap says it’s like, European, man: “In Europe, bars are part of the community, and we are, first and foremost, a community place. And I’m impressed with kids who come to our place. They order food with autonomy and knowledge. There are a lot of pretty sophisticated kids in the area.” And, as usual, the Philly.com comments sum up my reaction nicely:
See? Slippery slope. First our children are hanging out in bars, then who knows what happens next? Smoking ban brings more kids to dinner [Inquirer] |
|
|
|
Once again, you didn’t answer the most important question of all: has Alycia Lane been going to bars wearing a bikini, now that we have the smoking ban.
Geez, man, get with it.
I like kids. I don’t even mind them all that much on airplanes. But… Let’s say that I’m having a burger and a glass of wine at Standard Tap with a girlfriend, I want the flexibility of using the words fuck and douchebag without having to worry about little ears.
I totally agree. If I’m at a bar and Alycia Lane walks in wearing a bikini, I also wants to be able to fuck a douchebag in the little ears.
Oh ALB, sorry, I’m also against public fucking in restaurants. I got stuck in Cleveland overnight last week due to a delayed flight and I was seated next to a couple speaking in baby voices and groping and licking and it is safe to say that I am very, very, very, VERY much against public fucking when I am trying to eat.
I really wish that had been me and Alycia Lane (wearing a bikini, of course — Alycia Lane, not me).
I think it’s more likely that a seven-year-old eating at the standard tap is going to be disturbed by the fact that everyone around him is still talking about video games.
I kind of want to go as Link for Halloween.
I kind of want to go as Alycia Lane in a bikini for Halloween.
dude many points to the comment about poor little maddy lol
also i think you should use the words fuck cunt shit cock again add again when children are around. especially if their mother’s ask you to stop
Then offer to buy them some sort of alchapop as a way to ease the atmosphere
Sounds like there’s some hip grupsters up in Standard Tap.