Chris Freind Stands Up For French, The White Man

It’s been a while since I’ve checked in on Chris Freind, America’s Best Columnist™. But, since he stopped by the comments to plug his interview with Georges Perrier, I figured it was time to take another look.

In his interview with Perrier, the two talk about how awful the foie gras protesters are and how the ducks actually enjoy being tube fed until their livers become the size of Buicks. (Apparently, ducks don’t have a gag reflex, which means they’re not being tortured. I prefer my animals to suffer before they die, so forget foie gras as a delicacy.)

Perrier also bashes all the other restaurants in the area for not defending him from the four people protesting over foie gras: “Steven Starr is a coward. It makes me mad. Starr used to be a big leader in the restaurant industry, but he removed foie gras because he didn’t want to fight (the protesters).” Oh, wah, wah, wah. How dare he run his business how he wants to! Did you know he made his restaurants no-smoking, too, before the smoking ban passed?

Another recent Freind missive concerns racial profiling — and why we need it in airports. Hmm. This is an interesting issue, and I hope he can shed some light on the reason why profiling might work in airpo… huh? Oh, he’s just going to complain about the most oppressed of all peoples, the upper-middle class white male.

This week I will be flying across the country, and since I have blond hair and blue eyes, I will no doubt be pulled out of line and strip-searched in the name of political correctness. Given that I am not checking a bag, I thought it wise to make a checklist of what I need to leave at home.

Nail clippers, number two pencils, an electric razor and my belt. Oh, and shoelaces, since they could be used to inflict superficial wounds on unsuspecting passengers.

Meanwhile, as I face a prison-like exam, there will be numerous olive-complexioned individuals who will see my situation as they stroll by, unquestioned, precisely because they look like Arabs.

Man, the white man. Always being put down. Always being inconvenienced. It’s about time somebody stood up for his rights. It’s a good thing Chris Freind can enter federal buildings without being harassed at all, since they only target Irish white guys a la Timothy McVeigh.

No Sitting Duck [The Bulletin]
Profiling Is Discrimination - And It Is Needed Now [The Bulletin]
Chris Freind