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Road To 10,000 Losses: Unlucky 13
Where to begin? The Phillies just wrapped up their 9,997th loss in franchise history, a 5-4, 13 inning loss to the Houston Astros, on a walkoff homer by rookie Hunter Pence on the first pitch Jose Mesa threw in relief. The Phils might only have three losses to get to 10,000, but tonight’s loss was certainly the first one that went down like this: Phils up, 4-3, top of the ninth, bases loaded with one out. Antonio Alfonseca manages to a dead double play ball, Rollins-to-Utley-to-Howard, game over, Phils win, gain a game on the Mets, who were pounded in Colorado for the second straight night. Only problem was, the first base umpire called Carlos Lee safe at first. He was out by about a half-step; it wasn’t even really that close. The game continued, Alfonseca got the final out, the game went to extra innings. The blown call wasn’t the only misfortune the Phillies faced, uh, last night and into this morning. Ryan Howard hit a 430-foot blast into dead center that would have been out in Citizens Bank or any other ballpark in the majors; Minute Maid Park’s ridiculous dimensions allowed Pence to catch it next to that ridiculous pole in center field. The Phillies also ran out of players; pitchers Cole Hamels and Jamie Moyer both pinch hit in extra innings. The Phils had first and third with no outs and the bases loaded with one out in the top of the 13th and didn’t score. The decision to go for a sacrifice bunt — which Rod Barajas blew anyway — in the seventh inning possibly cost the Phils a run or two. But, eh, it was just kind of like the other 9,997 losses. The Phillies lost because they stink. |
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Shouldn’t that stadium be called Minute Maid Pole Park? Or maybe Minute Pole Park, or Pole Maid Park?
I think Alycia Lane should send the Phillies some photos of herself wearing a bikini as a consolation for losing. That should cheer them up.
They should do that thing they did in Major League, where they have a fully clothed cardboard cutout of Alycia Lane and they peel off a part of her clothing for each win they get, revealing her in a bikini. That should motivate the team.
Hey, don’t encourage that gay turd to post his drivel. I’m gonna kick his ass.
Shut up, gluteus maximus. You’re just jealous cuz I’ve got first dibs on those Alycia Lane bikini photos.
Thanks boys :
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