Idiot Hates Gays, Writes Column About It

There’s a short opinion piece in the current edition of the Northeast Times about the ongoing saga of the Boy Scouts and that building the city is probably going to kick them out of. The national Boy Scouts organization prohibits gays from joining their little club. This is the group’s right, of course, but the city also has the right to stop giving them free prime real estate on the Parkway since they won’t let Bruce and Lance into the club.

The opinion piece is by Robert Knight. He’s the director of the Culture and Media Institute, which is a conservative group that writes about how the evil liberals in Hollywood and the media are going to make sure this country is overrun by gays and Muslims (who are great friends, you know!) and Mexicans and whoever else isn’t Christian.

Now, Knight is attempting to convince you the Scouts should stay in the building. The column contains all the normal lies — all homosexuals are pedophiles, not many priests molested kids actually, homosexuals shouldn’t be role models, etc. — and preaching to the choir, but the intro is like a bad joke I’d reject:

Philadelphia has big city problems. The murder rate is on the rise, and gangs make some areas unsafe even in the daytime. It’s no secret that fatherless, undisciplined boys are the main reason the streets are deadly.

So what is the city doing about it? Let’s imagine for a moment that we’re in a Philadelphia City Council discussion.

“How about a crackdown on gangs? Or a crackdown on drug dealers?”

“Nah. Those people shoot back. I’ve got it! Let’s persecute the Boy Scouts! They won’t give the police any trouble.”

“Yeah, this will be a great way to pay back those gay groups for donating to our campaigns. The media will love us, too. Watch how they’ll frame this: ‘Enlightened Officials Reign in Hateful, Bigoted Boy Scouts!’ Good for us! Now, let’s take a Starbucks break!”

Ha ha! What a knee-slapper!

“Now, Daniel,” you might be saying here. “This sort of sounds like some sort of post you would make when you’re really stretching to find a joke.” Agreed! The only problem is, I am trying to make you laugh (and probably failing, if I did it this way); if you don’t laugh, it has very little consequence for me except maybe a thread or two on Phillyblog where they write mean things about me and oh no whatever will I do!

“Now, Daniel,” you might be saying here. “Isn’t it a little odd that the Boy Scouts want to ban gays. Aren’t the Boy Scouts pretty much the gayest group imaginable already?” Hey, I make the jokes here!

City of Brotherly Love hates the Boy Scouts [Northeast Times]