Fear & Loathing: Questions And Answers

After a one-week break, it returns! Each Friday, a PW intern who would — for obvious reasons — like to remain nameless, shares her experiences working at Franklin Mills.

I get a lot of weird questions while working in the lingerie store. Do you sell sticky tits? Where can I get spanks? Does this bra make my boobs look saggy? (This question is admittedly not all that bizarre, but imagine the person asking you this is a 300-pound chick with gold teeth wearing a bra two sizes too small and you’ll see where I’m coming from.)

A few Saturdays ago, I was standing in the very back of the store – straightening a pile of XXXL crotchless panties – when a woman bursts through the doorway and screams, “Do you guys sell butt-enhancing panties?”

“Nope. Sorry about that,” I respond without even looking up.

The woman, clearly on a relentless mission for underwear with ass pads, marches over to where I’m working. I immediately notice that she is not the sort of woman that should be shopping for products to enhance any part of her body.

She stands in front of me, silent for a second, and I watch as she looks me up and down, her eyes moving from my toes to the top of my head and back down in one quick motion.

“Where do you get yours?”

I smile at the ridiculousness of this question and tell her that I’m not wearing any.

“No. Shit,” she says incredulously and walks away shaking her head.

I still haven’t decided whether to be really insulted or really flattered.