Bulletin’s Trail of Tears From Lansdale To London

The Bulletin — née The Evening Bulletin — is concerned with immigration. Like, really concerned with immigration. The Ol’ Bull’s so concerned with immigration reporter Joe Murray has become the paper’s Southwest U.S. correspondent.

I can only assume this means Murray will patrol the border with the Minutemen and maybe interview some illegal immigrants. (And he’ll probably call them “illegals,” which is just a nice thing to call people.) Oh, and he’ll also slaughter some American Indians, who I thought conservatives were cool with now:

Andrew Jackson had made great strides taming the Indian threat, America had taken a rebellious Mexico City to the woodshed and American manufacturing was at the beginning of a boom that would make it the envy of the world. America was enjoying the benefits of youth, and it was the West that was her tabula rasa.

Ha ha, and then Jackson set in motion for Martin Van Buren to kill 4,000 Cherokee.

Murray will be reporting from Las Vegas, so clearly he’s essentially the paper’s “Hell” correspondent.

The Bulletin is a paper that is on the move and is reaching people from Philadelphia to Paris, Lansdale to London. The Bulletin, however, is not just any newspaper. It is committed to bringing top quality news to a readership that respects family values and the decency that made America great. Thanks to the World Wide Web, The Bulletin is not only Philadelphia’s family newspaper; it is the world’s.

As you may know, I used to work at the Bulletin as the arts and culture editor. I think the “family values and decency” thing is where we ended up differing a little bit. Fuck yeah!

Joe Murray: Go West, Young Man [The Bulletin]