Leftovers: That’s Using Your Head

• Evolution of headlines today regarding one Malekah Rankins, who allegedly abducted her seven-year-old son from school today: “Estranged Mother Kidnaps Child”, “Abusive Mom Takes Child From School” and now, thanks to NBC 10, “Abusive, Bipolar Mom Kidnaps Boy From City School.” I can’t wait to find out what descriptor she’ll have next. [NBC 10]

• A small dog in New Jersey may have been killed by a coyote! Only, no, not at all, the wildlife commission says. But somebody said it was a coyote so it definitely is. [AP/Philly.com]

• Apparently a student at Valley Forge Military Academy stabbed another student. [6 ABC]

• Your mid-class trip to New York just got a bit more expensive. Chinatown bus, here we come! [AP/CBS 3]

Catch The Spelling Bee Before The Philadelphia Contestant Is Eliminated! Oh, Too Late.

Today is the first day of the National Spelling Bee, and as usual A List of Things Thrown Five Minutes Agois liveblogging the proceedings.

If you were tuning in hoping to see Philadelphia’s lone contestant, Fahmida Sarmin (representing the Philadelphia Tribune), you’re out of luck. No word on how Sarmin did on the written portion of the test, but on her lone oral word she spelled “privilege” incorrectly and didn’t qualify for the third round.

It was a bit of a lost cause, anyway. Not to knock Sarmin, but she was the contestant from Philadelphia. I’m surprised lightning didn’t hit her on her way into the competition room.

But it looks like Philadelphia’s circle of losing extends even outside the city limits. The contestant representing the Intelligencer (Doylestown) spelled garbled “garbbled,” the Express-Times (Easton) contestant spelled notarize “notorize.” Meanwhile, the person representing the Pottstown paper got the word bonbon in Round 2. Three Pennsylvania contestants advanced to Round 3, including Micah Walter from the West Chester Daily Local.

On the plus side, I decided against my original idea to spell a bunch of words in this post wrong. Now all the errors are my own stupid mistakes!

A List of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

Famous Adulterer Could Possibly Play For 76ers

Local boy and Lakers guard Kobe Bryant talked with Stephen A. Smith for Smith’s Inquirer column today, and apparently he wants out of Los Angeles. (He later re-iterated this demand more succinctly on Stephen A.’s radio show — which is, naturally, on in New York.)

Management said they were trying to win now and so Bryant signed a big contract, but apparently the team is in rebuilding mode. So could Kobe Bryant be headed back to the city that boos him?

Chicago? New York? Philadelphia, perhaps?

“Keep talking,” Bryant quipped. “Anything sounds good right now with the way I’m feeling.”

Great! Now if only the 76ers had a marketable six-foot guard they could package for him. Er.

Stephen A. Smith | Bryant fires back at Lakers [Inquirer]

Road To 10,000 Losses: Back To Normal

Road to 10,000 Losses is a countdown to the Phillies’ 10,000th loss, coming sometime later this year. With an 11-5 loss to the Diamondbacks last night, the Phillies stand at 9981 losses, only 19 away from 10,000.

It’s nice the Phillies know how this thing works. After thumping Atlanta in a three-game sweep this weekend, the Fightins have promptly come home and lost two straight to the Diamondbacks. The Phils are now 26-26, back at .500. With 42,000+ Monday night and 27,000+ last night, Phillies fans have returned to their doom-and-gloom ways. The Phils are now 8 games back of the Mets in the NL East.

Ryan Howard almost got hurt last night, too. While the Phils were down about 59-6, Howard dove for a grounder and came up limping. It’s just a cramp, however, so Ry-Ho just wasn’t drinking enough water or something. Meanwhile, backup catcher Rod Barajas is hitting .213 with a .361 slugging percentage. Chris Coste is at Double A Reading.

Bobby Abreu, however, has apparently aged 40 years overnight and is having the worst season of his career. “Finally, the Abreu envisioned by Tampa Bay when it traded him for Kevin Stocker shows up,” Jeff Passan wrote. Unfortunately for the Phillies, the man they traded Abreu for, Matt Smith, has an 11.25 ERA and is in the minors. Ryan Franklin has a 0.90 ERA for St. Louis. Oh, and 2006 first round pick Kyle Drabek is on the DL.

Blah blah blah 75 wins blah blah blah Charlie Manuel blah blah Pat Gillick blah blah Chris Coste blah blah DL blah blah bullpen blah blah Dollar Dog Night blah blah.

It’s amazing how quickly a Phillies fan’s opinion on the team can shift, eh?

N.J. Fitness Czar Comes Too Late For Tony Soprano

New Jersey’s health commissioner recently formed the Office of Nutrition and Fitness, hoping to add yet another level of bureaucracy in the state. (KYW 1060’s David Madden even reported the move “[s]ounds like more bureaucracy.”)

But Health Commish Fred Jacobs said the move was recommended by a state panel that studied obesity. Apparently, the new fitness czar is going to tell kids to eat better and exercise more. Then the kids are going to see about 45 ads on TV for Xbox 360 and sugary cereals and continue to eat on the couch.

He also wants to do this:

Jacobs is also considering a call to include a child’s body mass index (”BMI”) number on his or her report card, but he admits there would be legal, social, and privacy concerns to address first.

Yeah, I am sure that is going to go over real well.

NJ Health Commissioner Forms State Fitness Office [KYW 1060]

Terrorist Raccoon Eats Symbol Of National Pride

Aw, remember the eagles at the Navy Yard? They had formed the first nest in like 700 years or whatever and were all set on having a happy eagle family right near where the Eagles play. They’d be, like, unofficial mascots!

Well, now they’re dead. Well, okay, only the potential eagles — eggs, I suppose — are dead, and the eagles are gone. Although I suspected a jealous Swoop for the crime, investigators now suspect one or more of the eggs hatched, but the little eaglets were eaten by a raccoon.

Obviously, right? They already have the little Repo Man masks. The eagles may return next year, so the Navy Yard won’t be able to be developed or something. Now we just have to do something about the raccoon problem.

Eagles nest at Navy Yard has failed; officials suspect predator ate eaglet [Inquirer]

Sen.: Philadelphians Aren’t Paying Enough For SEPTA

State Senator Roger Madigan, who is from Bradford County, Pa., yesterday angrily demanded SEPTA raise its fares.

In Bradford County, all the residents have cars and drive around on roads paid for by the state and federal governments. SEPTA does plan to raise fares 11 percent on July 1 (tentatively), and will raise fares like 300 percent unless the state kicks in $100 million to close a budget gap for the cash- and quality-strapped transit agency.

Madigan, though, did say that “SEPTA has made a decision that could significantly hinder efforts to build consensus on new funding, given the fact that the legislature has clearly indicated that transit users have to be part of any funding solution.”

Get ready for $5 fares coming later this year!

Senator critical of SEPTA’s delay in raising fares [Inquirer]

Local Dog Issued Execution Reprieve

The Philadelphia area’s most famous dog might get a reprieve from his death sentence after all! It’s good to know we now treat dog executions with more media scrutiny than human executions.

First, the background: Ozzy is a seven-year-old German shepherd who attacked a little boy last month. Later, he bit an animal shelter employee. A judge ruled he was going to be put down, but apparently he has a ton of backers, including Rage Against The Machine, who held a benefit concert for Ozzy. Celebrities all over have been holding “Free Ozzy!” signs at rallies all around the area.

Ozzy now has a stay of his execution, due to an appeal by his owner. But now the George W. Hill Correctional Facility wants to use Ozzy to patrol the grounds, sparing him from death. The Philly.com screenshot with this post pretty much sums up everything else with this story.

Job for Ozzy at Delco prison? [Daily News]

One Fare To Rule Them All

There’s finally video of Ed Rendell’s impassioned Lord of the Rings defense of SEPTA, where he also advises the SEPTA board members to not be bought off for 12 pieces of silver. (This advice received an ovation, natch.)

You know, there have been other popular movies since Lord of the Rings. Yet Rendell (and Rick Santorum before him) continue to quote the film like it just came out. The last chapter came out in 2003! Sure, they could have read the books, but it’s not like those are recent, either, and Rendell directly references the movie before his little spiel.

Also, despite the LOTR movies taking place in a land called “Middle-earth” — which is apparently earth, but well before our time — Rendell describes our heroes as inhabitants of the “Western world.” He also says, “Their leader was a fella by the name of Aragon.”

Gollum later made an impassioned speech calling SEPTA’s current rates “my precious.”

Gov Rendell Invokes Lord of the Rings to Save SEPTA [Blip.tv]
May 25, 2007: Rendell: Without New SEPTA Funding, We Will Have Flooding For 27 Days And 27 Nights
Oct. 18, 2006: Santorum Looking To Nab Crucial Nerd Vote

Abridged ‘Daily News’ Columnists

Jill Porter: Jill Porter has the day off.