Tom Knox Hates Metaphors, Free Speech

If you watched the the anti-Tom Knox had he had his lawyers ban from television by threatening to sue, you might be wondering just what, exactly, was wrong with the ad. Nothing in there was a lie.

Well, The Next Mayor Blog got a copy of the letter Knox’s attorneys sent. And this paragraph is pretty much the jist of a majority of the letter:

Therefore, you are herby respectfully on notice that any dissemination of these false, misleading and illegal advertisements, particularly those that state that Candidate Knox is a fraud, or state that Candidate Knox is associated with heroin, could unlawfully jeopardize Mr. Knox’s right to a fair election, and subject your station to legal exposure.

Wait, the ad said Tom Knox does heroin?

Damn, no wonder… er, wait. It said “credit heroin.” As in “[A] predatory loan scheme consumer groups called ‘credit heroin.’” Yes, that really makes me think Knox is doing heroin! Almost as much as that awful Photoshop! And some homeless guy on the street telling me Knox is a heroin addict!

This kind of makes sense, though. Since he doesn’t watch TV or read books, Knox is probably unaware there are ways to refer to things other than their actual names. For example, Tom Knox can be also be called Candidate Thinks He’s Going To Lose The Election And Desperately Trying To Save Hide By Sending Lawyers After TV Stations.

God dammit. I can’t believe Tom Knox made me defend this stupid ad.

Yee-ouch [The Next Mayor Blog]
Earlier today: Tom Knox Got This Ad Banned From TV
[Original image from Kenn Kweder's website. (Of course.) Do you know how hard it is to find an easy-to-crappily Photoshop image of a guy shooting heroin? Harder than you'd think.]