A Rose By Any Other Name

An Inquirer article today focuses on a pretty ridiculous situation in New Jersey. (Aren’t they all.) There are six Washington Townships in N.J., because we here in this country don’t know any presidents besides the first one. (I’m surprised half of those haven’t been renamed after Ronald Reagan, though.)

It causes problems, though, such as bills going to the wrong township and an insurance company which refused to defend a lawsuit against Washington Township, Gloucester County, because it said it thought it was insuring a different Washington Township.

But the real gem in the story is this line, penned by Inquirer reporter Jan Hefler:

Whoever eloquently posed the question, “What’s in a name?” didn’t have to deal with the modern mess created by such lack of imagination.

Gee! Who ever could have written that line? Not the world’s most famous author, definitely not him. And definitely not in Romeo & Juliet, Act II, Scene ii.

Which Washington Twp. is that for? [Inquirer]

Philly.com Visitors Have Better Taste Than You’d Think

Woohoo! Now maybe they’ll take the giant Idol news off the front page? Naw, we’re not that lucky.

Results: What did you think of the ‘Idol’ charity show? [Philly.com]

Nora Fanbase Growing To Barbaroesque Proportions

Currently the top video on CNN.com is, of course, Nora, the piano-playing cat. But it’s not just the same old video, no: CNN’s video clip — from American Morning — is the world broadcast premiere of Nora’s new video! (This is similar to, say, when TNT says it has the world cable premiere of Walking Tall or something.)

I’m not quite sure why this is the top video on CNN — the start of the new video is kinda cute — but I can be sure that when this cat dies, it’ll be just like Barbaro: There will be tribute pages, online vigils and some sort of benefit single (perhaps performed by other musical cats). Please, keep this cat away from the Menu Foods cat food. Then again, there’s always the chance Nora’s other talent is immortality.

Archives: Nora, The Piano-Playing Cat

Abridged ‘Daily News’ Columnists

Michael Smerconish: Tom Knox sure can spend money.

Ronnie Polaneczky: Hooray, no more trains blocking the Schuylkill!

Stu Bykofsky: Hooray, maybe kids can get scholarships to college now, bitches!

David Murphy Is The Toughest Meteorologist In Philly

An average television viewer might think the weatherguys and gals aren’t all that tough. Sure, Hurricane Schwartz talks tough about Christmas, but how many mall Santas has he punched out?

Well, I don’t know about the other weatherpeople, but David Murphy no-sold a separated shoulder at CBP the other day:

It was one hell of a catch, but 6ABC’s David Murphy suffered a dislocated left shoulder yesterday fielding a line drive by Q102’s Diego Ramos during the 10th Annual Richie Ashburn Memorial Home Runs for Heart challenge at Citizens Bank Park.

Murphy, a trouper, continued to play for 15 minutes after the injury before casually strolling off the field and driving himself to an area hospital, refusing to have an EMT called to the ballpark.

Drove himself to the hospital? Man. Somebody ought to tell Danny Tartabull that a weatherguy can play through an injury.

Dan Gross | Murphy’s catch [Daily News]

Leftovers: The ‘Stache Is Back

• Pro-gun activists held up a sign saying Philly’s own Angel Cruz, a state representative, should be “hung from the tree of liberty.” Lynching jokes are always hilarious. Oh, and a bunch of lawmakers called for an investigation and the firing of Don Imus because they felt it was a terroristic threat or something. [AP/Philly.com]

• Good news: Sal Fasano is back in the majors! Better news: If he sticks with the big club (Toronto), he’ll be here the weekend of May 18! [The 700 Level]

• Apparently, the new student government president at Penn is a Borat impersonator. Well, at least it’s not Anchorman quotes anymore. [Daily Pennsylvanian]

Eagles To Honor Ikea, Denver Nuggets

The Philadelphia Eagles announced today they would honor both Ikea and the Denver Nuggets with an their alternate third jersey this season.

Above, Jevon Kearse and David Akers celebrate the deals on medium-quality inexpensive furniture from Eagles’ owner Jeffrey Lurie’s deal with the Swedish furniture maker. Akers even got a free Allen Iverson jersey.

Also, the news article on the website contains this lie, according to Brad Maule of Phillyskyline:

The Swedes were in Philadelphia before the arrival of William Penn and he incorporated their colors into the City of Philadelphia’s flag.

Brad told me in an exclusive IM message he sent to me the flag was dedicated in 1885. Nonetheless, you can already buy these blue and yellow jerseys and other merchandise on the Eagles website. As you may have guessed, I’ve already purchased a hat because I’m a fucking sheep. Baa.

Update: Oh, forget it. Some items, like the Donovan McNabb jersey, won’t ship until September 15, just in time for Week 2 of the NFL season.

Eagles Unveil 75th Anniversary Plans [PhiladelphiaEagles.com]

Downright Dangerous To Public Sanity

It’s been a little bit since I’ve checked in with Chris Freind, America’s Best Columnist™, and see what earth-shattering commentary he’s been writing about in “Freindly Fire.” His column title is based on his name, if you didn’t know.

As you may remember, last time we all saw America’s Best Columnist, he was sending out a press release about how he had exposed the hypocrisy of people attacking Don Imus. He also promised an “explosive challenge” to Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and Bruce Gordon.

Well, well, well! How did the challenge go? I’ll take a look at that and a few other recent bits by America’s Best Columnist after the jump.

More »

Seth Williams Makes Us All City Employees

In a Young Philly Politics post gushing on Seth Williams, the man himself responds and lets us know only we can prevent forest fires municipal corruption:

I am deputizing all of you Assistant Inspectors General, you don’t get badges but you will get the thanks of all Philadelphians if you can help end our reputation of being “corrupt and contented”. If you have information regarding corruption, fraud or waste in the municipal government please contact me. If you have ideas or suggestions about sting operations I could initiate don’t hold back, the time is now to end municipal corruption in all of its forms.

Awwwwwesome! You see, this is how we’re going to end every problem in this city. Milton Street wants to deputize all Philadelphians as police officers and now Seth Williams has made us corruption cops.

I can’t wait ’til my first sting operation. Can I do it on John Street? That’d be a blast. Do we get health insurance now that we’re junior inspectors general or whatever? We don’t? How about if I slip you a cool $100 bill?

YPP’s One True Mission: Elect Seth Williams [Young Philly Politics]

The Best Two Comments On Tom Knox’s Myspace

Fortunately, they’re right on top of each other (click to enlarge).

Tom Knox [Myspace]