Finding Sex In A Haystack

You might think the media — and the public, clamoring for it, of course — wouldn’t able to figure out a way to get sex into the Jon Corzine crash coverage. As much as we’d all like it, he wasn’t giving the driver roadhead — or was he? — and so it was just a simple crash.

Naw, just kidding. Detective Sgt. Michael Mathis, of Berkeley Heights, N.J., told The Star-Ledger he had, shortly before the crash, emailed the state trooper driving the car, confronting him with an allegation the trooper, Robert Rasinski, had a two-year affair with his wife, Susan.

Oh ho ho! Wait, what does this have to do with the crash again? Oh, Mathis thinks Rasinski might’ve crashed after reading the email or something.

Of course, whenever there’s a scandal in New Jersey, there’s nothing to do but contact a Monkee and have him defend the trooper:

Davy Jones, president of the State Troopers Fraternal Association, blasted Mathis’ allegations yesterday and called them “dogpile.”

Little did you know: Mike Nesmith is currently heading up the Albany Firefighters’ Union. He uses a lot of liquid paper in his position there.

Did Corzine’s driver get an e-mail?