Crappy Video Poker Machines To Hit Pa.

Are you like me, wondering the best way to throw your money away in a mildly entertaining fashion? Well, I think about that a lot, especially since the casinos are coming to Philadelphia soon and I find slot machines boring.

But, well, the Pennsylvania gaming board ruled yesterday to make casinos all that much more mildly entertaining but allowing electronic table games that simulate games like blackjack and poker. It’s, basically, all the fun of a table game except it’s electronic and therefore involves no human interaction and, in order to comply with state gambling laws, all the odds are randomized so skilled players lose any advantage against the house they might have. Are you as excited as I am?

The games are so, ah, advanced they even feature (presumably female) dealers saying prerecorded lines like, “Come play with me.”

The state’s gambling board had the tough job of figuring out whether or not to allow the machine.

[Gaming board spokesman Dave] Harbach says the board’s laboratory has been studying the game for months.

Yeah, I know. I kind of want that job, too.

Pa. Casinos Getting Electronic Table Game [KYW 1060]
Pa. OKs virtual gambling table game [Camden Courier-Post]