Mayoral Candidates Play Bingo, Take Geritol

As the mayor’s race rolls toward its inevitable, boring conclusion, the interested observers are beginning to circle the wagons, talk in wild platitudes and get really nervous Tom Knox is actually going to win this thing.

For example, YoungPhillyPolitics dissects the newest poll, showing Tom Knox with approximately a 750 percentage point lead over the other candidates. City Councilman Jim Kenney even chimed in! “If this poll is true and this trend continues, on May 16th my concience [sic] will be clear.” Thanks, Jim! We were all wondering what your conscience was going to be like in mid-May. Then Kenney wrote about how stupid Philadelphia voters are.

But what about people who actually decide the elections; i.e. old people. Well, they’re getting attention from the mayoral candidates as well. The KYW 1060 article was headlined “Mayoral Hopefuls Promise Better Health Care If Elected,” so you know how much they’re pandering.

But after the AARP-sponsored forum, the attendees got down to more important stuff:

At the end of the forum - a staple at a senior get-together - a raffle. A nice lady is going to the Tropicana.

Buoyed after seeing her excitement, Tom Knox began to hatch a new idea: Free spaghetti dinners are the Trop.

Mayoral Hopefuls Promise Better Health Care If Elected [KYW 1060]
Oh. Crap. [Young Philly Politics]