Popular Salesman Arrested

Salesman Edward Stern was arrested yesterday. His clientèle was highly upset, wondering just where they were going to get their goods without him around anymore.

The clientèle, of course, were drug buyers, and Stern was arrested and charged with weapons violations, possession of drugs with the intent to deliver and possession of an instrument of crime.

He also worked at a cell phone store in Mayfair. Although his coworkers knew of his checkered past — “Stern and his ‘Ugly Squad’ cohorts took significant losses in 2005, when cops raided their posh Wissinoming lairs and confiscated $1.3 million, 11 kilograms of cocaine and six live alligators” — they didn’t know he was allegedly still selling drugs.

But maybe they should have:

The ordeal was mystifying and frightening for Stern’s boss at the cell-phone shop, Johnny Dax. “He was a great worker,” said Dax, 34. “He was here every day from noon to 8 p.m.

“Nobody ever had a problem with him. In fact, the customers loved him.”

Yeah, the customers usually love the workers at cheapo cell phone stores.

Static on his cell [Daily News]