Mar7 |
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Philly Love #69: The Penis-Size Comparison Of Mayoral Nominating Petitions
Yesterday was the day to turn in mayoral nominating petitions for the mayoral primary, and apparently Philadelphia’s five main Democratic candidates have one thing in common: The need to submit thousands and thousands more signatures to get on the ballot than they’re required to have. (Aside: Yes, I know Milton has dropped out of the mayor’s race. Let me gain my composure, stop crying and I’ll write about it in a little bit.) Now, it makes sense for campaigns to turn in more than the 1,000 signatures needed to get on the mayoral ballot. No candidate wants his petitions to be challenged and be knocked off the ballot. Right. But, in Philadelphia, it appears turning in petitions has become a competition to see how big everyone’s dick is:
First off, Jesus White? Guh-wah? Apparently, he’s a preacher. I’m workin’ on it. And it’s good to see Queena Bass, whose campaign theme is to bring the love back to Philadelphia, running again. Let’s hope her petitions are valid. But every other Democratic candidate submitted pretty much a billion more signatures than they needed to. There’s nothing wrong with doing that, it’s just pretty awesome that everyone plays into it. “Brady’s gonna get 20,000 signatures? Shit, I better turn it at least 10,000!” “Five inches! Well mine’s five and a half!” “Well mine’s six!” So, congratulations, Bob Brady, you have the largest petition penis Philadelphia has ever seen. Mayoral Signatures [Inquirer, 2nd item] |
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