Just Think How Bad He Would Have Been Without

Ex-Phillies unfortunate pariah/third baseman David Bell — aka The Saddest Man in Baseball — is now implicated in (get this) a steroid investigation.

It’s not for steroids, though. The ring — which is way too boring for me to write up any background on — was busted up by a bunch of agencies whose names are too boring for me to type (and writers from Sports Illustrated, who tug along) the other week. And while an unnamed Philadelphia Eagles player was initially mentioned in some sort of report, the real bombshell comes from the SI article (it’s on page two:

David Bell, a veteran of a dozen major league seasons, received six packages of HCG at a Philadelphia address last April, when he played for the Phillies. The cost was $128.80, and the drug was prescribed in conjunction with an Arizona antiaging facility. Bell acknowledges receiving the shipment but tells SI the drug was prescribed to him “for a medical condition,” which he declined to disclose, citing his right to privacy.

Fair enough. But hCG, as it’s commonly written, is a frequently used before and after steroid cycles to keep one’s balls from shrinking.

But, then again, this is David Bell. Clearly, these investigators have never watched a baseball game.

Inside the Steroid Sting [Sports Illustrated]