Mar5 |
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York Co. Man Commits Greatest Crime Ever, Charged With Conspiracy To Commit Greatest Crime Ever
A man from Stewartstown, York County, Pennsylvania, population 1,752, has been charged with theft, hindering apprehension of a suspect and conspiracy for allegedly beheading a statue of Ronald McDonald. Wait, this dude destroyed a Ronald McDonald statue. That creepy one where he’s sitting on a bench or whatever. Shouldn’t we be hailing him as a national hero instead of charging him with conspiracy to defile a statue? And if somebody from Adbusters hasn’t started a defense fund for the 22-year-old alleged statue defiler already, I’m expecting it. Jason Anthony Nocar, of Hopewell Township, allegedly decided to kidnap Ronald McDonald (in statue form) from the yard of a man who has had the statue for years and apparently kept it in the yard to frighten neighbors and advertise hamburgers. Nocar allegedly stole the 300-pound statue. The owner, Joy Greiger, found the decapitated head of Ronald about two weeks later with his eyes crossed out. Police are, naturally, looking for a second suspect, since it’s unusual for random dudes to be able to lift 300 pound ceramic statues. (They should totally make this a contest in one of those toughman competitions.) Owner Grieger, though, isn’t going to replace the statue:
That loud exhale you just heard were Grieger’s neighbors breathing a collective sigh of relief. 1 nabbed in theft of statue [York Daily Record] |
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i just wanted to get my story out there foreal,i got 3 felonies for that stupid sit down ronald and some misdameanors almost locked up a couple times in court and probation,im paying 4 grand and believe me aint no one paying for it but me, 2 years probation and 50 hours of community service the guy was a straight jerk he said he would let me go but i had to embarriss myself on national t.v. threatined me with his dynamite and i realize it was dumb but guy it was just a statue geez ,at least he told the judge not to lock me up but hes still a asshole, i regret it but what can i do now nothing but keep on chucking,that guy needs some counsiling, but hey i do to,someone snitched on me i guess they wanted the 300$ dollar reward thats p.a. for u,u know snitches , i just stay to myself now and do what i do make my music but the funny thing is i currently work at mcdonalds i guess ronald wanted me to pay,i just want to live my life without being fined for everything there aint no freedom nomore man ,just rob the poor and give to the rich isnt that how it works life is a bitch then u die so minus well make the best of it–( ((> u killed kenny