‘Inquirer’ Unaware If We Were Still Interested In What Rick Santorum Had To Say, We Would Have Voted For Him

Hey journalism kids! Did you find it funny when Mary-Kate Olsen had a column in the New York Times Magazine? Or how about Angelina Jolie’s piece in the Washington Post? Well, it’s about to get better: The Inquirer is in conversations to hire Rick Santorum as a columnist!

Yes, that’s right. In a move sure to piss off Internet bloggers and newspaper writers who’d like to be elevated to columnist status, Inky publisher Brian Tierney and Rick Santorum (at right, palming an invisible basketball) are in negotiations for what Tierney calls “nothing more than blue-sky, guys kicking around ideas.” If it happened, and Santorum sounds more optimistic than Tierney (really?), it’d be a once-a-month thing, and it’d be, uh, quite a coup for the Inquirer, who are apparently also looking at John Fucking Grisham to write a column. (Dean Koontz was unavailable.)

Phillymag’s Jason Fagone writes:

He said his talks with the Inky were “an informal dialogue” and the column “may or may not happen.” … Santorum said that if he were to write an Inky column, “it would be on a variety of different things,” including his work on radical Islam. When we asked him about the chances for the column actually happening, Santorum said, “I’ve got a lot of other things that I’m doing. So part of it is just whether I have time to do it.”

Oh, man. I’m really torn here. Actually, no I’m not. It’d be a hell of a name for the paper to get, and think of the fun I could have mocking it. Shit, it’d be like Christmas every time Santorum penned some screed against secular humanists or radical Islam or what it’s like to live in Virginia.

Breaking: Santorum to Pen Inky Column? [Phillymag]
[Photo via The Hoya]