You might be wondering just what the above photo is. Or, if you know who the people are, you might be wondering just why Philebrity power couple Joey Sweeney and Ruth Carpenter are standing in front of their Nolibs loft palming an Infiniti G.
Well, I’ll clue you in: Sweeney and Carpenter are featured in a three-page “Special Advertising Section” (read: advertisement) for the Infiniti G, which they enjoyed on a weekend at the Tropicana. (”Of course!” you’re saying as you slap your head. “Of course this blogger and his girlfriend were featured in a three-page spread about their weekend with a $30,000 car at the Tropicana in Atlantic City! I should have known that!”)
Follow me after the jump for an in-depth analysis of the advertisement.
Okay, so if you want to read the whole ad, here’s a PDF helpfully compiled by yours truly.
The ad takes the form of a conversation between Joey and Ruth, complete with Bolded names and linebreaks. Immediately, though, Joey breaks the fourth wall by saying “So the people at Philly Mag and Infiniti are really excited to hear about what we did on Our Magical Weekend In Their Car.” I can only assume the “people at Philly Mag and Infiniti” were really excited to hear about it because they, uh, paid for it, but perhaps they were genuinely excited as well.
Sweeney, however, doesn’t drive, so Ruth has to explain how the car drives and handles and how she was hit on at the car wash because of her car. Joey does explain how the sound system is good, going as far as saying “The Studio on Wheels™ Premium Audio System was amazing.” I’m not sure how one pronounces a ™. Ruth chips in saying the car is like a “future space machine.”
After that, the duo heads down the AC Expressway to the Tropicana, where the two eat dinner at Red Square, the restaurant recently awarded Best Martini Bar & Best New Restaurant from Casino Player. (I researched that fact myself!) Upon entering, we get to my second favorite part of the ad, from Joey, about the giant Lenin statue holding a martini:
The two reminisce about eating shrimp and caviar and drinking vodka before Sweeney drops a “Russian equivalent of Beetle Bailey” reference, perhaps because he was getting repeatedly punched by the Russian equivalent of Sgt. Snorkel. (For some reason, I knew the sergeant in Beetle Bailey’s name. This might be worse than the ad.)
They then drop recollections about the casino and getting a massage — Joey continues the trend of speaking in symbols, talking about the “mellow-down chill out bluemercury® rave room” — before Ruth wishes she didn’t have to leave the casino forever.
We then get to my favorite line of the ad:
The ad closes with their drive home where, oddly, XM Satellite Radio isn’t followed by a ™ or ®.
One might wonder if Infiniti expects to sell any Gs because a guy who runs a blog spent a weekend in Atlantic City wrote nice things about it. One might wonder if Sweeney can morally make fun of anyone for anything anymore. One might wonder if this is what not having health insurance drives people to do. (This might actually be the most persuasive argument for universal health care ever.) One might also wonder if I can manage to turn this ad into material for the rest of the week. (Oh, I can answer that one: YES.)
But, mainly, I’m wondering how I can manage to get one of these sweet deals myself. I mean, my blog’s traffic is around the same level as Philebrity, as far as I know, and those of you who know me know I’m ridiculously easy. I mean, I feel I could at least get a Honda Fit. I mean, I’ll settle for a Kia. Or a Dodge Neon. Or maybe some Power Wheels?
My inner journalist is weeping, but my inner capitalist is saying yes.