Forecast From The Heavens

I missed this on the first readthrough, but apparently Jesus’ message wasn’t just that of tolerance and peace, but also of low pressure systems and freezing rain:

Christ said that overnight the region could get 2 to 4 inches of snow from the eastbound storm - 3 to 5 if it combined with a storm moving north off the coast from the Carolinas.

As you can see from the photo, in addition to a freezing rain headed our way, Jesus has also made an incredibly good call — phew! — by rejecting the Devil’s calls to worship him in exchange for all the kingdoms of the world. Although, ah, judging by the leaders we have now, one with a message of tolerance, love and peace might be kind of a nice break.

Winter, Round Two [Inquirer]
Temptation of Jesus [Wikipedia]