The Nation’s Only Legislator Willing To Lay Out The Facts About The Hilarity Of Condoms

Up in Perkasie, a councilmember resigned because he had only attended 36 of 88 meetings in the past few years. And so, the Perkasie council decided to replace her with the only logical choice: A 19-year-old college student.

Yes, Nickole Collins — whose parents went the Jennaphr Frederick route with the spelling of her name, apparently — was appointed to the vacant seat earlier this week. And it’s not just that a 19-year-old with breasts won a City Council seat; she also beat out two other Perkasie residents who also wanted to fulfill the vacancy. The 19-year-old attends Kutztown and will run for re-election in November. Oh, and she also lives on Penny Lane. Ha!

The Allentown Morning Call explains the meeting and how Collins beat out the two challengers:

Council members spent little time questioning Collins, saving most of their ammunition for Matt Aigeldinger, a frequent critic of council, and John Moser, a former councilman who has also made known his displeasure of council decisions. Councilman Harry McGonigal did most of the talking during adversarial exchanges with both men, calling Aigeldinger an antagonist who’s done nothing but launch personal attacks against council and make ”baseless” claims about a $3.9 million Menlo Park pool improvement project.

”As far as I’m concerned, you’re inconsequential,” McGonigal told Aigeldinger.

Of course, some residents of Perkasie aren’t too enthused with Collins’ appointment to the board, and not just because she’s a Republican. No, they are upset with her youth, going as far to find her Myspace page — which she’s since set to private — and quote things out of context from it, such as: “Condoms are funny.”

Now, I think we should have legislators who think Condoms are funny, because (1) most of our legislators, especially Republicans, don’t even acknowledge the existence of condoms and (2) condoms are funny! Seriously. How funny is it that in order to have sex safely, the dude has to put a piece of plastic over his dick. That’s our solution? And, then, they have to sell small condoms, for people with a not-so-impressive endowment. But they call them, like, “snugger fit condoms.” Now that’s comedy.

As you can tell, I could go on and on about the hilarity of condoms.

This condoms-are-funny exchange all took place on the messageboard of the Morning Call, and Collins — ever the politician — took time to explain her position on the humor of condoms.

As you can see from what Liz-7676 has said, it is apparent that she has gone to my myspace, which has be privatized, and taken out an incomplete quote. I will admit that my myspace said that, however, that is not the entire quote. The entire quote is this: “I think condoms are funny… like the word itself”, this was in reference to a conversation that a group of people and I had about the origin of the word. It made no sense to me and therefore was put there, as a joke amongst friends. If you are offended by this then that is your right to be and I respect that. I am just putting out all of the facts.

If you are offended by a 19-year-old girl thinking condoms are funny, please notify me so I may know to add you to my list of “people with a six-foot stick up the ass.”

Woman, 19, takes Perkasie council seat [Allentown Morning Call]
Comments on Story [MCall]
[Image via 6 ABC]