Phillies Give Fat 12-7 Wife Beater $26 Mil

Yesterday, the Phillies signed up their fattest, wife-beatinest pitcher who went 12-7 last year to a three year deal worth $25.7 million. Yep, Brett “The Incredible Hulk” Myers has been locked up.

No, no, not by the police. (Rimshot.) The Phillies have signed him to a three-year deal covering his final two years of arbitration and his first year of free agency. (If you don’t know what those terms mean, arbitration would have been a one-year contract with the Phillies, whereas in free agency Myers could have signed anywhere. Capice?)

Myers, as you may remember, was arrested over the summer for allegedly punching his wife on a Boston street corner. The charges were later dropped, and after starting the next day for the Phillies, he then went on a leave of absence in which the Phillies also missed his pitching skills.

So, perhaps this contract means Myers has his act together off the field. (It hopefully does.) But, since it’s Philadelphia, expect Brett Myers to go 7-15 with a 5.25 ERA next season on the field.

Myers reaches agreement on $25.7 million, 3-year deal [Daily News]
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