Field Guide To Barbaro Messageboard Factions

If you’re like me, you’ve probably been following the Barbaro messageboard on the Tim Wooley Racing website incessantly for the past eight months, breathlessly refreshing every fifteen minutes or so in order to get the latest updates on America’s Favorite Horse™.

But the Barbaro messageboard is a confusing place no doubt, and newcomers may be a bit daunted at first. Fortunately, like most things, different cliques and factions have developed on the Barbaro messageboard, making it easier to sort through the clutter. While everyone there professes to be a FOB — that’s a “Fan/Friend of Barbaro,” natch — there are different interpretations of the life of Barbaro. (It’s kind of like early Christianity.) There are several groups, easily identifiable once you know the categories. For this exercise, we’ll just be using the people who comment on the Barbaro updates on Tim Woolley Racing. For purposes of this discussion, that’s the “Barbaro messageboard.” Posters can be in more than one group.

After the jump, a detailed look at the different factions on the Barbaro messageboard.

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Keystone Cops: Sighs All Around

Keystone Cops is a daily look at crime, police, public safety and drug news. Homicide totals are unofficial. I’m not quite sure why any of you need to know they’re unofficial, unless you’re betting on the number of homicides in this city, in which case you are kinda creepy.

• Two men were shot and killed overnight, bringing the number of homicides in Philly this year to 31 and guaranteeing this month will have at least one homicide a day, on average. [Inquirer]

• Blacks in Pennsylvania die from a gunshot wound at a higher percentage than anywhere else in the country. But as the head of Men United for a Better Philadelphia points out, white males kill themselves with handguns, too. Ahh… yeah. [Daily News]

• Police log: “The bloody bathroom was discovered after a woman wearing a medium black coat and dark shoes but no pants was seen leaving the restaurant, police said.” [Doylestown Intelligencer]

• And just when you thought a child porn case with a million pieces of child porn couldn’t get any worse. [Inky]

35 Percent Of Lehigh Students Creep Me Out

Students at Lehigh University had a presentation from Paul Sokolow the other day. Sokolow is “an expert on campus safety and high-risk student behavior” — whatever that means — and presented the students with a fun little game.

It’s called: Can you spot the rape? I suppose it’s kind of a Where’s Waldo for the college-aged set.

Paul Sokolow… called on Lehigh University students to be the jury in the case of two students who ended up having sex one night. Sokolow, who presented a lecture Thursday to Lehigh students on “Drunk Sex or Date Rape: Can You Tell the Difference,” prefaced the request by saying the case was true but the names were changed to protect identities. The audience played along.

He went on to tell the story of Todd and Amy. Amy went out to a party on her college campus and met Todd, who offered her five Jell-O shots containing 180-proof grain alcohol. Sokolow said Amy wasn’t aware how much alcohol the shots contained. They were three times stronger than the average drink.

Todd followed Amy back to her dorm room and had sex with her. When Amy woke up the next morning, she did not remember what had happened the night before but found a note Todd had left with his name and number, Sokolow said.

And 35 percent of the people in the room decided that Todd’s following her back to her dorm room was a-OK. (When given to middle-aged people, it’s usually only 10 percent.) Yeesh.

Students vote if drunk sex or date rape [The Express-Times]

If You Think I’m Done Beating A Dead Horse, Clearly You Haven’t Been Here Very Long

There was a Nick who said he and his fiancee have set next January 29th as their wedding day in remembrance of Barbaro.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Barbaro Updates [TWR]

Bob Brady To Channel Adlai Stevenson, Al Smith, William Jennings Bryan In Next Campaign Speech

Bob Brady apparently wants everyone to know that not only can he win the race for mayor, but he can do it even while channeling losers.

The Inquirer’s Michael Currie Schaffer writes that Brady’s announcement speech contained a few lines that had been used before:

When Bob Brady announced his mayoral candidacy on Thursday by declaring that “help is on the way,” veterans of past Democratic campaigns may have felt a sense of deja vu. The line was the key refrain of John Kerry’s 2004 acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention and a constant theme in the campaign that followed.

And the very next line of Brady’s speech - “I’m Bob Brady, and I’m running for mayor” - evoked an even more distant Democratic standard-bearer. In 1976, a little-known Georgia politician introduced himself to voters by traveling the country declaring, “I’m Jimmy Carter, and I’m running for president.”

The Brady campaign says the lines were merely coincidental, but I can’t help but think that channeling John Kerry and Jimmy Carter — even accidentally — isn’t the best idea for a candidate who wants to, y’know, win.

Echoes of the past in Brady’s present [Inquirer]

PGW Also Told Us To Dress Warmly In Winter

Oh now come on.

Colder Weather Means Higher Bills, PGW Warns [KYW 1060]

Abridged ‘Daily News’ Columnists

Nothing today. But let’s recap Dick Jerardi’s column about Barbaro.

Dick Jerardi: Boy, everyone sure did love Barbaro. Everyone! Now let’s talk to some horse owners to get a nice representative sample of how everyone loved Barbaro.

Reason #45 To Love Philadelphia: The 76ers Are Right Back On Schedule

After trading away Allen Iverson, the 76ers were expected to founder, losing most of their games and getting the best shot at winning the NBA lottery and getting the number one pick in the draft.

The 76ers have been playing better recently, winning three of four at one point. (It would have been four straight, but they blew a 17-point halftime lead at home against Cleveland.) While I’m not actually rooting against the 76ers — that’s no fun — it seemed typical Philadelphia: The 76ers don’t even know how to have a terrible season.

Last night, the Houston Rockets jumped out to a 41-point (!) lead. The Inquirer’s Joe Juliano:

After three quarters, the visitors trailed by 89-51, and it got worse. When Houston’s Chuck Hayes converted a three-point play on the first possession of the fourth quarter, the Sixers actually trailed by 41 and seemed a lock to top their previous worst margin of defeat, 27 points against Chicago on Dec. 6.

So give credit to the Sixers’ bench, and starter Rodney Carney, for making it look to the basketball nation at large as if it were a real game judging by the final score. But it was a rout in every way possible, something that the Sixers would like to write off as a bad night.

If you’re wondering, the 76ers lost 105-84. A 21-point loss. Yeah, they really made it look like a real game, all right.

Rockets shoot to 41-point lead, leave Sixers in their trail [Inquirer]

Once More, In Memory Of Barbaro

Oh, the world has never seen a more graceful horse.

Photo via SabinaLouisePierce.com

Where’s Your Messiah Now, Barbaro?

I will never say goodbye because you live on in my heart! You have become a major part of my soul and I will carry you throughout the rest of my life! You were a gift and messenger from God! You taught us about horse slaughtering and TOLD us, humans, STOP THIS MADNESS. It is our responsibility to carry out what you have charged us to do: end the horrors of your equine brothers and sisters suffer from the dark side of the human heart! And you have my promise: I will carry out the task you gave me!

Barbaro: Horse and prophet.

Wait! Or not!

When stuff like this happens I blame God. Look at all the prayers that we sent to God to heal Barbaro so he could live a long happy life. When he died today a part of me died with him. That is why I felt and sort of still do that God let me down… Why pray when he doesn’t listen? I am glad that Barbaro is not in pain and I am not mad at anyone. I feel for all of them and I know there are a lot of tears in this world today. Where the heck is God now? That is my question………

Barbaro Updates [TWR]