Preston, Steve, Cpt. Noah Retroactively Ruin Childhoods

This morning on WMMR’s Preston and Steve show, they had a very special guest in Captain Noah. The old Philadelphia children’s show host reminisced about his days telling kids to send in their pictures to dear old him.

He also decided to clue us in on he and Mrs. Noah’s fetishes (courtesy of Citizen Mom):

Remember how, on the Magical Ark, the Captain would finish making a craft and then the garbage-eating hand puppet would come up and take away all the trash and paper scraps? Well, live on the radio this morning, the Captain said it was Mrs. Noah under the table working that puppet. And sometimes — according to the Captain — things would get a little boring under there, so Mrs. Noah would while away the time, uh, “singing a rainbow” on the Captain’s mizzen mast. To hear him tell it, the ol’ Captain had trouble concentrating on those crepe-paper flowers. This is either the greatest thing I’ve ever heard or the single most psychologically damaging thing ever. Either way, Mrs. Noah is my new hero.

You know what, I’ll have to agree here: Mrs. Noah is also my new hero, too. I think. Just nobody tell me Larry Ferrari secretly banged some chick while he was playing the organ. That might be too much to handle.

If you see this Magical Ark rockin’, don’t come a’ knockin’ [Citizen Mom]