A Chicken In Every Pot, And A Cap In Every Ass

What does a small, Indiana County town of 443 people in Pennsylvania really need to do to make sure it remains viable well into the 21st century? Well, how about making the second amendment mandatory?

Town Councilman Henry Statkowski in Cherry Tree, Pa., in Western Pennsylvania near where Indiana, Cambria and Clearfield counties meet, wants to pass an ordinance urging residents to get a gun and learn how to shoot it to keep down on the crime. It’s modeled after a Greenleaf, Idaho, law — itself modeled after a Kennesaw, Ga., bill from 1982 — passed in the wake of Hurricane Katrina and meant to stop the surge of bands of refugees that sacked random Idaho towns. (Oh, wait, that didn’t happen?)

Statkowski says that, since the household is responsible for defending itself, each household should defend itself in the way Hank Statkowski wants it to. Inquirer writer Kathy Boccella went out to Cherry Tree and did her best person-on-the-street reporting job, interviewing apparently half the population of the sleepy hamlet.

This, really, is only a few of the quotes:

“Why would they need guns here?” asked Joseph Keith, who lives down the road in Stiffler. “They’ll shoot themselves.”

Sara Richards, 81, however, approves of firearms in the house.

“The way this world is, with all the drugs, it’s a fine idea,” Richards said as she waited with her husband at Cherry Tree Family Medicine.

A medical assistant in the office, who identified herself simply as Karen, said she and her husband had discussed getting a gun but decided against it. “He was afraid I’d shoot him,” she said.

But Brad Wholaver, 36, dressed in camouflage for a day of deer hunting, called the proposed ordinance “crazy.”

“Let’s face it, there are some people out there who shouldn’t own a gun. You put a gun in their hands and they’ll shoot just to shoot,” he said.

“People have more guns than flush toilets” now, joked Councilman [Martin] Harbough, who says he is neutral on the ordinance.

Camouflaged hunter? Check. Weird reference to drugs? Check. Calling them “flush toilets,” as if they were a recent introduction to the city? Check. This is the best state ever.

One councilman’s wish: A gun in every home [Inquirer]