Dec5 |
Welcome, Our Planet Hollywood Casino Overlords
Hey, kids, do you like Planet Hollywood? Do you like throwing away your money down little coin slots? Do you like free alcoholic beverages? If you answered yes to any or all of those, then will you be pumped for the upcoming Planet Hollywood casino! (Hey, we’re going to hold Stallone to his promise to move to the city now.) Of course, the official slots licenses haven’t been awarded yet. But somebody knows something, because Mayor Street has allowed the Planet Hollywood Riverwalk Casino to sponsor the New Year’s Eve fireworks! Street actually toasted the casino’s owners for paying for it, which is kind of funny in light of the city turning down DC Shoes’ offer of $1 million for upkeep of LOVE Park if skateboarding were allowed there again. But, then again, white suburban kids don’t have any money of their own, so it makes sense. Street shot down anyone who thought it was a conflict of interest:
Wait, what? That’s his rebuttal? That makes it seem like more of a conflict of interest, if anything. He might as well have responded “Yabba Dabba Doo!” or “Gabba Gabba Hey!” or “Everyone knows that time is Death, that Death hides in clocks. Imposing another time powered by the Clock of the Imagination, however, can refuse his law. Here, freed of the Grim Reaper’s scythe, we learn that pain is knowledge and all knowledge pain.” Sure, they’re all nonsensical replies, but they make about as much sense as our mayor’s original statement. But, y’know, oh well. At least it’s not another inexplicable PECO sponsorship of something. Phila. Casino Applicant Will Pay for New Year’s Fireworks |
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