PWD People Of The Year: Michael Untermeyer

Well before any of us even cared about the 2006 election — seriously, this happened in August — former Pennsylvania Senior Deputy Attorney General and Ed Rendell campaign aide Michael Untermeyer announced his candidacy for sheriff for 2007.

In his press release, Untermeyer (or his PR guy, whatevs) said that the “Rocky Statue” would be making an appearance at his campaign kick-off event at Headhouse Square. It was meant to show his dedication to, uh, being the underdog, and winning with a million-to-one shot… although since Rocky lost the first fight… Also, at the time the move of the Rocky Statue to the side of the Art Museum was in the news, so, y’know, a news hook.

However: Note that it is “Rocky Statue” and not Rocky Statue. Because, at the campaign event, Michael Untermeyer posed with… a black dude painted bronze. (Who, apparently, has a part-time job as a host at Cosi.) Of all the people on this planet, Untermeyer found the person who looks least like Rocky.

Some may think that Michael Untermeyer was being a little sneaky or playing a semantics game here, but let’s try to look at it another way: He’s so busy planning on how to be a better sheriff than the current one that he didn’t have time to get the real Rocky Statue or find an Italian guy. He just grabbed the first dude he saw who’d agree to be spraypainted bronze and pretend to box, because, hey, he’s a busy man. It’s not his fault the person he happened to pick looked absolutely nothing like Rocky. Just bad luck, is all.

Really, c’mon, the current sheriff’s website won’t load for me. Untermeyer’s campaign site does. Plus, as I wrote before: If he is just a big liar, then he’ll definitely fit right in. He can probably make a campaign ad out of this whole thing: Michael Untermeyer, endorsed by Cosi® and Black Rocky!

Oh, wait, his campaign page links to Philadelphia Will Do’s coverage of him. Seriously, this is a candidate I can get behind. Does Sheriff Green have a link to this blog on his website? Hmm?

Prospects for 2007: Running for sheriff; extra night shifts at Cosi®.

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