Spending $255 Million: It’s A Breeze!

With all the fiscal problems plaguing the school district right now, one might think that the city is facing similar financial troubles.

Not so. In fact, the Street administration says the city’s budget surplus is even bigger than expected, with the city having on hand $255 million dollars extra. (Apparently, property taxes are being paid in this city, somewhere.)

So how’s council going to spend that $255 mil? Marian Tasco wants to give $10 million each to firefighters, cops and rec centers to fix up shit. Darrell Clarke wants to give some thought to helping the School District. All the council members want new gold decks for their houses. And Frank Rizzo wants “one of those guitars that are, like, double guitars.”

But, eh, c’mon. We (you, even!) could do a lot better. Rec centers? Education? Firefighters? Pshaw. Let’s use that $255 mil for projects that are actually useful.

My list, humbly submitted to you:

• Citywide lottery with a 255 million-dollar prize
• 1,020 public pay toilets @ $250,000 each
• A little over 10 1/2 City Halls @ 24 million each (in early 20th century dollars)
• 255 million 20-minute phone calls
• Burning all of it in a giant pile, which is pretty much what City Council will do anyway

These are so much more fun. As usual, youse are usually funnier than I am, so have at it.

City Council Mulls How to Spend Some of $255 Million Surplus [KYW 1060]
Oct. 25: Pot, Kettle Call Each Other Black