Werewolf Robs String Of Convience Stores; Dracula, Frankenstein Expected To Embark On Similar Spree

Stop the presses. A werewolf has been robbing convenience stores in Montgomery County. (Sure, NBC 10 says it’s a guy in a “mask,” but I’m pretty sure it’s a werewolf.)

The werewolf has hit three convenience stores with his partner, a man in a hooded sweatshirt. (Probably a zombie.) Both the werewolf and zombie are armed with hunting knives, probably to throw people off, since they don’t really need weapons. (They’re a werewolf and a zombie!) It’s unsure why the werewolf is simply robbing stores instead of slaughtering people, but I suppose he’s a kinder, gentler werewolf.

The werewolf also robbed a pizza delivery man, too, with a female accomplice. (Elvira?) Although police are trying to calm people’s fears by saying it’s a guy in a wolf “mask,” the public is nonetheless scared.

“I can’t pinpoint it but it’s scary,” said Robert Arrison of Lansdale.

You can’t pinpoint it? It’s a werewolf! Terrorizing your town! How clear do I have to make it for you?

Wolf Mask Robber Hits Convenience Stores [NBC 10]