Santorum Looking To Nab Crucial Nerd Vote

With the chances that he’s going to win November 7’s election apparently dwindling, Sen. Rick Santorum has decided to pull out all the stops.

What is our state’s junior senator doing? Why, he’s comparing the War in Iraq to Lord of the Rings, of course!

Embattled U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum said America has avoided a second terrorist attack for five years because the “Eye of Mordor” has been drawn to Iraq instead.

Santorum used the analogy from one of his favorite books, J.R.R. Tolkien’s 1950s fantasy classic “Lord of the Rings,” to put an increasingly unpopular war in Iraq into terms any school kid could easily understand.

“As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else,” Santorum said, describing the tool the evil Lord Sauron used in search of the magical ring that would consolidate his power over Middle-earth.

“It’s being drawn to Iraq and it’s not being drawn to the U.S.,” Santorum continued. “You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don’t want the Eye to come back here to the United States.”

In addition to the absolutely WTF-ness of the comparison, I’m not quite sure I get it. Who’s the Eye of Mordor? The terrorists? If we assume the hobbits represent the United States, then where’s Mount Doom?

I’m not sure I follow. I guess the terrorists (the Eye of Mordor) are blowing up buildings in Iraq (Whereever the Eye of Mordor is looking at) while the hobbits (the United States) are slowly climbing up Mount Doom (probably Iraq or North Korea or Canada or whereever our next war is).

As for our other current war, Santorum would like to win it, but the Taliban just isn’t cooperating:

“You know, what we have is a lousy enemy,” Santorum said about the Taliban resurgence in Afghanistan.

Yeah, why can’t you greet us as liberators, like those people in Iraq! Er.

Update: He didn’t even fucking get it right! It’s the Eye of Sauron! Nerd power!

Santorum defends Iraq war [Bucks County Courier Times]