Happy Halloween!

May all your candy be Kit Kats and all your costumes be hits at the party. Unless you’re dressed like these idiots.

Halloween [Wikipedia]
Hollywood is Filled with Lame Idiots [WWTDD]
Photo by ryngwraythbeagles

Leftovers: Philadelphia, Somewhere In The USA

• Behold, the Action News graphic for the Pier 34 murder trial. Yes, we Philadelphians are now too stupid to even know where the hell we are if the TV news doesn’t point it out to us. [6 ABC]

• You can all stop sending me this story about the stolen puppy. First off, I’m sure it’s a fine pup, but it’s not nearly cute enough for me to steal. Second off, I was in a different part of Egg Harbor City that night. [NBC 10]

• Gay Marriage is unlikely in Jersey, as the legislators are likely to simply pass civil union laws instead. Sez an anti-civil union state senator in need of some rephrasing: “If all of a sudden we deemed that a white man that marries a black woman would be denied benefits, that’s equal protection.” [Press of AC]

• Curt Weldon earmarked money to the company whose director bought Terrell Owens’ NFC Championship ring. Heh. [Inquirer]

‘Phillymag’: More Dangerous Than Actual Homicide?

Nicer Philadelphia hotels sometimes give guests copies of Phillymag, because there’s no better way to let someone know about the city than by telling them all about the suburbs.

This month, though, the Greater Philadelphia Hotel Association has warned hotels to think twice about giving Phillymag out due to the story about Philebrity editor Joey Sweeney.

No! Wait! Phillymag has a cover with a gun and the word Murder, and the hotels association wanted to let its members know that this month’s Philadelphia (the magazine) might not be the best introduction to Philadelphia (the city).

Not sure if it would do harm to the hotel industry, especially when they’re already in the hotel and, as Phillymag editor Larry Platt pointed out, a high murder rate would be, uh, more of a turnoff.

But, as we know, our city’s fine mayor is probably already burning copies of the magazine.

The Dead of Night [Phillymag]
Philadelphia, Meet Your Future [Phillymag]
Sept. 18: It’s Settled: John Street Truly Does Not Care If You Die Today As Long As ‘National Geographic’ Offshoot Magazines Keep Praising The City

Suing Your Way To An Election Win

State Rep. Matt Wright came up with a good way to get his opponent in next week’s election to stop running attack ads.

He threatened to sue.

Yes, that’s right. Wright, a Republican, saw an ad for opponent Chris King that featured footage of Wright on the floor of the state house, so he went and whined to John Perzel who got a Williamsport lawyer to threaten a lawsuit if the ad wasn’t removed. (That’s Wright in the photo from his official state senate page, which includes this complete personal history: “Married to Donna[.]“)

Footage from the floor of the state house, you see, is copyrighted by, uh, the state house. And so using footage for political campaigns is against the rules. We wouldn’t want our constituents learning what actually goes on there! (The state senate has similar rules, naturally.)

Perzel spokesman Al Bowman said the purpose of the restriction is to “protect the integrity of the proceeding[.]“

Ha! Let that one sink in. King, of course, will stop running the ads on Bucks County cable television. All hail the mighty lawsuit!

Attorney: King’s TV ad violates copyright law [Bucks County Courier Times]
Matt Wright [PA House]

Breaking: Unions, Management Agree To Extension

No strike at midnight! The Newspaper Guild, the Teamsters and eight other unions have agreed to an extension with management for 30 days.

This means that the two unions that authorized strikes, the Newpsaper Guild and the Teamstears, won’t be striking tonight. Come Dec. 1, perhaps. But for now, another 30 days to talk. Alleluia.

Newspapers, unions agree to 30-day contract extension [Inquirer]

Erie Canal Takes Center Stage In Boston-Philly Debate

Two weeks ago, Julia Vitullo-Martin had a piece in the Wall Street Journal talking about how much better Boston is than Philadelphia. Blah blah blah.

The Daily News ended up reprinting the article last week, and Mark Alan Hughes responded earlier this week in the DN, and said that… uh… the Erie Canal was what made New York City great, while Philly rules and we shouldn’t respond to Vitullo-Martin’s column because of tipping points and straw men and Rittenhouse Square and blah blah blah in a column that probably hurts Philly’s image more than the original WSJ one.

Today, Hughes gets a letter responding to his column. Naturally, it’s about his criticism of the Erie Canal:

I wrote a book on New York City’s water and have one coming on the Erie Canal. As to water, Philadelphia’s brilliant Fairmount system was world famous while New Yorkers were still dying from wells sunk next to privies; a lot of good geography and the civic will of one now obscure alderman (Myndert Van Schaick) eventually delivered excellent mountain water to New York City. As to canaling, New York was favored by geography with the only break in the 1,000-mile Appalachian chain, and the extraordinary political will of DeWitt Clinton.

For my money, two things are key to any city’s greatness: chance and character. So, buck up, Philadelphia, and find yourself a hero.

Alright. All we need to do is find an top-notch alderman and we’re set. Get on it, people!

A little N.Y. history and a geography lesson [Daily News]
Mark Alan Hughes | Smart thinking on a witless diss [Daily News]
A Tale of Several Cities [WSJ]

Flyers Win Hockey Battle, Lose Wig War

The creepiness above is from the Wachovia Center last night, where the Flyers beat the Blackhawks 3-0 to improve their record to 3-7-1.

In addition to topping the lowly ‘Hawks, the Flyers also attempted to set the record for most wigs worn at one time, clearly the most important of all the Guiness World Records. Flyers fans wore 9,315 wigs, topping the old mark of 6,213 at a Detroit Pistons game in 2004. Or did they? From the Orlando Sentinel’s What The Blog?! (sigh):

On February 21, 2006, fans at Quicken Loans Arena [in Orlando Cleveland] broke the Guinness World Record for “most people wearing wigs in a single venue” when 20,562 fans wore curly wigs given away before the game in celebration of [Andersen] Varejao’s unique hairstyle. All fans in attendance were instructed to put the wigs on during a timeout.

They couldn’t even get enough wigs to break the record. (And didn’t have enough fans, either.) Can anything else go wrong this season?

Win helps to ease identity crisis [Daily News]
AP Photo - Orange Wigs [AP/Yahoo!]

Clear Your Calendars For November 9

The Reading Terminal is going to be rocking that day.

Ridin’ Shotgun In My Dodge

Have you ever been ready to purchase a car only to think to yourself, “Hmm. I’d buy this car, but only if I can get a free shotgun with my purchase.”

Only every single time you buy a car, right? Well, a car dealership in Chester County, Country Dodge Chrysler Jeep, has made everyone’s wishes come true by offering a coupon for a free shotgun when you purchase an SUV of equal or greater value.

This has upset some people, including a local resident! Anabella Hampton is upset because the western Chester County dealership is only 15 miles from the site of the Amish school shooting in Nickel Mines. And if the Amish buy cars and get free guns with them, none of us are safe.

The dealership countered that the deal was almost over, and that it was almost out of certificates anyway, so nyaah. That didn’t please Hampton, who said:

“I mean, what’s next, a semi-automatic with the purchase of a house?”

Let’s hope so. That’d be killer. But, eh, I don’t know about this car dealership deal. As much as I’d like a shotgun, I don’t think these cars have any place for me to plug in my guitar.

Car Dealer Includes Free Gun With SUVs [NBC 10]
Volkswagen First Act Slash ad [YouTube]

Alas Poor Yorick — He Ran The Ferris Wheel

Jellyfish, seaweed, trash, syringes and now skulls.

Yes, you never know what you’re going to find on the beaches of Wildwood.

Britt Wetzel found a human skull — likely an adult female — yesterday in North Wildwood while fishing. Another beachgoer called police. Wetzel gave this account to the Press of Atlantic City:

“There was definitely a creep factor. My reaction was definitely creeped out.”

Police are investigating the crime, but Wetzel has his opinions:

“The first thing we thought was, ‘This is definitely something from an unsolved mystery,’” Wetzel said.

Thanks, gumshoe.

Human skull found on Cape beach [Press of AC]