Abridged ‘Daily News’ Columnists

Urban Warrior Chris Brennan: URBAN WARRIOR SAVES THE DAY!

Jill Porter: Jill Porter is back for this breaking story: John Mark Karr didn’t do it!

American Justice

Yesterday, from the Inquirer:

In 1999, [Lawrence Scott] Ward ended a six-year legal fight in a sex-solicitation case by entering a plea in which he did not admit guilt but acknowledged prosecutors had enough evidence for conviction. ¶ He was sentenced to five years’ probation by Montgomery County Judge S. Gerald Corso.

Today, from the Intelligencer:

Baby formula theft: Joseph M. Riddle, 44, of Warminster, was found guilty by a Bucks County jury on Aug. 21 for the attempted theft of baby formula from the CVS on Route 202, police said. He was sentenced to no less than two years and not more than four years in the county jail.

Police news - 8/30/06 [Doylestown Intelligencer]
Yesterday: Penn Professors Love Their Kiddie Porn

Leftovers: This Ain’t No Party

• A man from Butler allegedly beat up his mom because she wouldn’t party with him. Yeah, there are a lot of stupid things that happen in Philadelphia, but this kind of stuff is reserved for Western Pennsylvania. That and quarterbacks. [AP/Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

• Could A.J. Feeley be heading back to the Eagles? More importantly, could Heather Mitts be heading back to Philadelphia?

• Comcast needs proofreaders even more than my blog does. [The Trouble With Spikol]

• Highlight of the day: CNN’s Kyra Phillips managing to have her mic turned on in the bathroom.

A Long-Overdue Irresistible Ella Update

Okay, I admit: I’ve been neglecting Irresistible Ella these past few months. But, inspired by the boys at Badminton Stamps and this amazing Ella, uh, parody a friend sent me, I decided to go take a look at what Ella’s up to.

And, apparently, she’s spent too much too much time in the sun. Damn, girl, wear some sunscreen!

Irresistible Ella [NBC 10]
Irresistible Allen Wrench [Badminton Stamps]
Archives: Irresistible Ella

‘Bulletin’ Says Screw It, Let’s Just Run Articles About How We Love Republicans

In a front-page story — with a faux-banner headline, kinda — in The Evening Bulletin, the newspaper that complains about media bias talks about the great white hope:

Political talk fills the papers and airwaves in the City of Brotherly Love these days.

Most of the yowling and yammering at the moment has to do with the growing confidence the Democrats are feeling in the statewide elections coming in November.

While the bright hope lies with Republican Senator Rick Santorum rapidly closing the once double-digit lead of his Democratic challenger, Pennsylvania Treasurer Bob Casey, down to low single digits, most of the other Republican incumbents in this area are finding themselves in the fight of their political lives.

Indeed! There is this nice little chestnut here, though:

David C. Thomsen is the Republican Chairman in the 15th Ward. This past year he assisted in an effort to get Temple graduate David Corbett on the ballot to run against Frank Oliver in the 195th legislative district. The campaign came close to getting 300 signatures, but wasn’t near enough.

“Third parties get three or four months to gather signatures. We only get three weeks.” Thomsen complained.

Yeah, those third parties have it so easy. Well, okay, maybe when the Republicans support them it’s a little easier.

GOP Looking For A Few Good Mayoral Candidates [Bulletin]
Aug. 14: Dubya And The Greens, What A Combo

A New Twist On ‘Is The Pope Catholic?’

Currently on the front page of Yahoo!:

More »

And It Only Took Him A Year To Do So

Bush remembers Katrina victims [AP/CNN.com]

Did You Ever Know That You’re My Hero

A letter in the current South Philly Review:

I was so angry after reading in Police Report (”Charged with teen’s murder,” Aug. 10) about senior citizen Barry Mason charged with murder after some teen snatched his jewelry. Mr. Mason should have been labeled a hero for standing up to this ongoing, escalating terror these ghetto punks are raging upon South Philadelphia.

I have witnessed many occasions where gangs roam through neighborhoods, looting, stealing and vandalizing. Mr. Mason must have had enough. I know what he was feeling. I was robbed many times by punks on bikes. If Mr. Mason is convicted in any way, shape or form, this judicial system is geared for the criminal and not for the law-abiding citizen.

Because, really, what better hero is there than a man who chases a kid down with his car and shoots him multiple times with a semiautomatic handgun?

Justice has blinders [South Philly Review, 2nd letter

Penn Professors Love Their Kiddie Porn

For the second time in three years, a Penn professor has been arrested for child pornography.

This time, Wharton professor emeritus Lawrence Scott Ward allegedly came into the country with videos of himself having sex with boys. In 2003, former Penn library head Paul Mosher pled guilty to child porn charges.

The feds caught Ward after he was flagged for several trips to Thailand. Here’s the relevant info from the Inquirer article:

Customs agents on Sunday also discovered a video on Ward’s laptop computer showing two children who appeared to be as young as 8 years old engaged in sexual activity, according to the affidavit. [...]

In 1999, Ward ended a six-year legal fight in a sex-solicitation case by entering a plea in which he did not admit guilt but acknowledged prosecutors had enough evidence for conviction.

He was sentenced to five years’ probation by Montgomery County Judge S. Gerald Corso.

“My opinion is that you will respond very appropriately to probation,” Corso said. “I would say this is not likely to recur.”

I hope you didn’t bet on that, your honor.

Wharton professor accused of child porn [Inquirer]
Mosher admits to child porn charges [Daily Pennsylvanian]

Someone Who Has A Bigger Head Than T.O.

Yeah, I know, it’s an ad. And ad for an effing fast food joint at that. But, really, anything that pokes fun at Terrell Owens’ agent (and that infamous T.O. press conference last year) is worth watching.