Geeze. It’s been a while. But it’s time again for another episode of IM Conversation About Teresa Masterson Theater! (Warning: Lengthy dialogue containing run-into-the-ground jokes by me ahead.)
pwddmac: hey, are you there? i have big news.
anonymous reader: of course. hit me.
pwddmac: new teresa masterson blog post!
pwddmac: or, as i like to call them, “articles.”
reader: this is the best news i’ve heard all day.
pwddmac: in this episode, she’s trying to lose weight.
reader: um, what?
reader: despite mocking her “blog,” i think she’s kinda cute in her pictures.
pwddmac: her lead references the “This is an eatin’ town, and I’m an eatin’ man!” SEPTA ads
reader: incidentally, those ads on buses? they’re like a year old.
pwddmac: anyway, she wants to lose eight pounds in three weeks
pwddmac: apparently if you go on this diet, you go insane with hunger
pwddmac: “My sister points out that I’ve been pacing while talking complete nonsense for a good 15 minutes straight. I realize she’s right. I sit down.”
reader: is she sure that her “insanity” was zone-fresh-philly-related and not just “nbc10 wacky blogger” related?
pwddmac: i don’t know, we’ll have to ask hurricane schwartz or that dizzle stizzle guy
reader: i’d like for them to have an online roundtable.
pwddmac: oh, that would be fantastic.
pwddmac: maybe they could have talking barbaro and irresistible ella, too.
reader: nbc10 online allstars, unite!
reader: wait, she’s supposed to eliminate all liquid calories?
reader: i’d die. without coffee, i would die.
reader: and what about alcohol??
pwddmac: no, she apparently ends up getting drunk and then eats a pint of ben & jerry’s
reader: maybe i would like her in real life after all
pwddmac: although i thought it was another drug that made you all hungry
pwddmac: then again, instead of a diet, she could have just done a whole lot of coke and lost eight pounds in 2 days
reader: ohmygod. teresa on a coke-tear through philly.
pwddmac: now THAT’S a story i want to read
pwddmac: but it seems she’s pretty dedicated to the diet she chose
pwddmac: “Next Week: More Health, Nutrition and Fitness tips as I get to the conclusion of whether or not I have discovered the solution to America’s obesity problem.”
pwddmac: I hope she has. that’d be quite a scoop for NBC 10. i bet she’d get a raise.
reader: NBC10 EXCLUSIVE: LOSE WEIGHT AND ONLY GO SLIGHTLY [MORE] CRAZY
pwddmac: NBC 10 SOLVES AMERICA’S OBESITY PROBLEM
pwddmac: BUT FIRST AN UPDATE ON BARBARO
Blog: Losing Those Brotherly Love Handles [NBC 10]