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Jul
26
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From a column by Patty-Pat Kozlowski today:
But for a contemporary film, [An American Haunting] was relatively clean. Not one obscenity is uttered by the actors - or even the demon. But the night I saw it at the $4 Tuesday movie night, I was treated to an extremely annoying phenomenon - new dialogue dubbed in from the audience.
There was Sissy Spacek telling hubby Donald Sutherland that his “mother-f*^%&*% ass better grab his mother-f*%$&#@ gun and put a cap in that demon’s mother-f&%^*$# a–” so it will stop terrorizing his family.
Donald Sutherland then adlibs back, “B—-, you better shut your m-f mouth before I b—–slap you across the farm!” All this dialogue was compliments of the row behind me. [...]
The couple in front of us watched the entire movie while talking or text messaging. The girl gave a play-by-play to whoever called her.
I’m sorry, but the only time you answer your cell during a movie is if you’re on the waiting list for an organ and a kidney becomes available. Twenty-eight kidneys must have been available because that’s how many phones rang and were answered. [...]
The two brothers then put on a karate exhibit in the front row. So as we’re trying to watch the Bell family exorcise the demon, these two are kicking and wrestling in front of the screen (which I admit was more entertaining than the movie itself).
The only time the mother got up was to scream at her infant for crying before she put a bottle in the baby’s mouth to shush it.
No @&*!^# way! Next they’ll tell us that some drivers cut other ones off in traffic!
Horror show at the cheapo movie [Daily News]
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dmac | 2:22 PM | 0 Comments
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Jul
26
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There’s an article about emo — the music and the fasion! — in today’s Metro. I really can’t improve on its unintentional comedy, so let’s just take a few choice bits:
If punk is riotous and rock is rebellious, then emo is raucous and romantic. Emo music, short for emotional, is a blend of melancholy lyrics over a post-punk beat — basically, mix the staccato screams of punk with morose musings, and you have some idea why bands like Fall Out Boy, Dashboard Confessional and Jimmy Eat World still top the charts.
Emo is androgynous.
Most notable are the excruciatingly tight jeans. Just as the punks have S&M straps and ravers have oversized phat pants, emo scenesters have diminutive denim. The look leaves nothing to the imagination, as guys often squeeze into girl’s jeans, usually sans underwear.
“Lots of girls think the look is sexy,” remarks [Ryan] Albanese.
Add a facial piercing, a button-up striped shirt several sizes too small over an ironic graphic tee, a wallet chain, horn-rimmed nerdy glasses, argyle socks, Converse All-Star Low Tops and you have bona-fide emo style. Of course, the looks are varied and individual, with the more creative types scouring thrift stores, and the more capitalist types spending money on brands such as Tripp and Salvage.
Hey, guys? You forgot blogs on Xanga, white belts and cutting yourself! Geeze.
Emo demo: Tight jeans and messy hair define this music-inspired look [Metro]
Drawing by Ikiroid, licensed via Creative Commons
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dmac | 12:54 PM | 3 Comments
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Jul
26
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The first item in The Intelligencer’s crime log today:
Man shot by motorist who asked for directions: A 25-year-old township man was shot in the upper back at about 1:13 a.m. Tuesday by a man he said asked for directions and then jumped out of a purple vehicle and started shooting at him. Police said the man was walking near Susquehanna and Bradfield roads in the township’s Roslyn section when he was shot. He suffered a collapsed lung but is in stable condition and doctors say he will make a full recovery, police said. He had recently moved to the township from Philadelphia.
Thought you could escape that gun violence by moving out of Philadelphia, eh? Well, welcome to Abington!
Police news - 7/26/06 [Doylestown Intelligencer]
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dmac | 12:03 PM | 0 Comments
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Jul
26
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KYW 1060 reports this morning of a new tourist attraction in Philadelphia: The Superbike.
Superbikes are run by the same people who run Super Ducks, and owner Alfred Krawitz said the Superbike is “a bicycle that holds seven passengers. One person drives it. It has a hydraulic braking system. It has a Porsche front end.”
City officials aren’t quite sure about the safety of these so-called “super” bicycles, but they’re not covered any city motor vehicle codes, so Krawitz went ahead and started selling rides on it. Councilman Frank DiCicco, naturally, wants to confiscate the bikes, perhaps so he can ride constituents around his district on them.
But, for now, Superbikes are here to stay. However, we do have a reprieve from at least one of the duck boats for a little while, as the article notes:
Meanwhile, the National Park Service has suspended Krawitz’s Superducks for seven days for aggressive solicitation.
Praise you, National Park Service.
Controversy Over New Super Bikes [KYW 1060]
Related: Stop The Duck
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dmac | 11:36 AM | 3 Comments
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Jul
26
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Now that the Phillies might as well be done this season, it’s time to resurrect the late summer tradition of laughing at the Fightin’ Phils’ misfortunes. (At least those that don’t involve punching a woman in the face.) You see, the past few seasons, the Philies were actually in the playoff race — shocking! — and we were all cheering on the Phillies to actually win, in the hopes of seeing the local nine play some baseball in October.
This year, though, the Phils are in fourth place in the NL East, behind even the Marlins, whose players make about as much as professional bloggers. So, piggybacking on the idea to root for Abraham Nuñez to have the worst season ever — he went 0-for-1 last night — we must all celebrate Ryan Madson’s accomplishment. In the third inning of the Phils 6-5 loss to the Diamondbacks yesterday, Madson joined an elite group:
That marked the fourth run the overworked Phillies bullpen gave up last night in support of Ryan Madson, who tied a major league record with four wild pitches in the third inning - the best of a slew of miscues on a night made for circus music, led, as usual, by poor pitching. [...]
According to the Elias Sports Bureau, Madson joined Hall of Famers Walter Johnson, of the Washington Senators, who threw four on Sept. 21, 1914, and Phil Niekro, of the Atlanta Braves, who did it on Aug. 4, 1979. Kevin Gregg, of the Anaheim Angels, did it on July 25, 2004. With his 6.18 earned run average this season, Madson resembles Gregg more than the other two wild things.
Congratulations, Ryan! You made history!
The only shocking thing: A Phillie didn’t own this record already.
MLB Standings [Yahoo!]
Pretty ugly in every sense of the word [Daily News]
July 20: Root, Root, Root For The Home Team (To Fail)
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dmac | 11:07 AM | 0 Comments
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Jul
26
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Jill Porter: A word to the wise: If you overdraw your bank account, don’t lend a friend your car. Or something like that.
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dmac | 10:50 AM | 0 Comments
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Jul
26
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An exotic dancer in New Jersey — who, naturally, does her stripping at a nude juice bar — has been arrested after police found a hand in a mason jar and six human skulls in her home.
Police went to her house to investigate a suicide attempt Friday. They found no suicide victim, but they did find the hand and skulls, and arrested Linda Kay for “improper disposition of human remains.”
She, however, says her collection of skulls and the hand — which she calls “Freddie” — is simply her strange taste in artwork. Her mother said she got the skulls from a mail order catalog or over the Internet. (Amazon.com is branching out!)
The laywer for Hott 22, the juice bar she strips at, defended her art collection:
“Hott 22 does not knowingly hire mass murderers.”
[Ira] Weiner said Kay is “artistic, but not vicious. I believe that’s why she collected those items. Other people might take issue with her tastes. I know I do.
“But look at Andy Warhol. He painted soup cans.”
Warhol painted hands in mason jars, too. One of his lesser-known works.
She got a hand [Daily News]
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dmac | 10:37 AM | 0 Comments
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