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‘Daily News’ Discovers, ‘Hey, People Yell At The Movie Theater!’

From a column by Patty-Pat Kozlowski today:

But for a contemporary film, [An American Haunting] was relatively clean. Not one obscenity is uttered by the actors - or even the demon. But the night I saw it at the $4 Tuesday movie night, I was treated to an extremely annoying phenomenon - new dialogue dubbed in from the audience.

There was Sissy Spacek telling hubby Donald Sutherland that his “mother-f*^%&*% ass better grab his mother-f*%$&#@ gun and put a cap in that demon’s mother-f&%^*$# a–” so it will stop terrorizing his family.

Donald Sutherland then adlibs back, “B—-, you better shut your m-f mouth before I b—–slap you across the farm!” All this dialogue was compliments of the row behind me. [...]

The couple in front of us watched the entire movie while talking or text messaging. The girl gave a play-by-play to whoever called her.

I’m sorry, but the only time you answer your cell during a movie is if you’re on the waiting list for an organ and a kidney becomes available. Twenty-eight kidneys must have been available because that’s how many phones rang and were answered. [...]

The two brothers then put on a karate exhibit in the front row. So as we’re trying to watch the Bell family exorcise the demon, these two are kicking and wrestling in front of the screen (which I admit was more entertaining than the movie itself).

The only time the mother got up was to scream at her infant for crying before she put a bottle in the baby’s mouth to shush it.

No @&*!^# way! Next they’ll tell us that some drivers cut other ones off in traffic!

Horror show at the cheapo movie [Daily News]

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