T.O. Exits His Vault Of Gold Dubloons To Complain The Media Treats Him Unfairly

When he’s not robbing banks or kicking puppies, Terrell Owens sometimes talks to the media. (This is kind of like saying President Bush sometimes makes himself sound stupid.) And, inbetween bites of babies he was eating, Owens talked with Real Sports‘ Bryant Gumble. Then he gave Gumble a wedgie.

In an interview airing tonight, Owens told Gumble two things: (1) He’s a virgin and a chronic masturbator, and (2) The media is biased against him and he’s not really a selfish player.

“The only thing I can really think of is maybe it was the way I grew up, you know,” he said, according to a transcript released Monday to The Associated Press. “I got picked on so much, and it’s like I feel like I’m still constantly being picked on.” ¶ Owens said he doesn’t think reporters are necessarily conspiring against him as much as using him “to gain viewers’ attention.” As a result, he believes that he is “misunderstood.” He said other players have been, too, “but I feel like I have been one of the main guys who’ve been vilified.”

Owens then beat up Steven Hawking, robbed the bank account of Alex’s Lemonade Stand and killed Barbaro. Then he bashed his quarterback in a national interview.

T.O. tells HBO he’s misunderstood; wonders `Why me?’ [AP/Yahoo!]