You’re Reading This? Wow, You Must Hate America

I don’t kid myself about who reads my blog. I know it’s just people trying to waste time at work. And to that I say: Awesome! If I can contribute to a downturn in productivity of the American worker, I’ve done my job. So: If you’re reading this, you’re probably working. Sorry to hear that.

Me, I’m off today. But I’m not heartless. For those of you who are working today, I’m going to be posting a few things before heading off to celebrate our freedom. If you’re at work, sit tight, mutter angry things about your boss under your breath, and come back, and hopefully I’ll be able to brighten up your day a little bit.

You need something now? Okay, okay. Check out the Philly.com front page:

Apparently, them is now spelled thum. (You don’t get any good jokes today, sorry.)