Ladies And Gentlemen, The Worst Argument Ever

I read a lot of crap. Like, really. A lot. If you also browse the Internet — or, for that matter, any newspaper or magazine — there’s a chance you’re saying, “Hey, I read a lot of crap too!” (”On Philadelphia Will Do!”)

Opinion pieces, whether on a blog or newspaper or magazine, tend to have the most potential for crap. Case in point: Lowman Henry’s guest column about the flag desecration amendment in today’s Evening Bulletin. Here’s his rationalization for why Congress should have passed a law barring desecration of the flag:

Further, there is ample precedent for protecting the flag as a national symbol. The First Amendment does not give us the right to spray paint a moustache on the presidential visages chiseled into Mount Rushmore. Burning the White House or the Capitol building are not protected means of protest. Nor can we go around shooting bald eagles, another of our cherished national symbols. No rational person would argue that such antics are legal or constitutional. Constitutionally forbidding desecration of the nation’s flag falls into the same category.

Wait, wait. Did he really just compare buring a flag — a flag that, say, Joey Flagburner has purchased with his own money — to spraypainting a national park, setting fire to a government building or shooting a fucking bald eagle? This has to be a joke, right? Have I been, uh, punk’d?

The U.S. Senate Again Fails To Protect Old Glory [The Evening Bulletin]