Established Suburban A&E Weekly Shows New Suburban A&E Weekly Who’s Boss

Yesterday, we all gazed at the the new suburban arts and entertainment weekly paper The Impulse, produced by the Camden Courier Post. We learned of the paper’s policy on the use of “gonna” and its ban on LOL. We learned about the copy editor’s lack of shoes one day.[1]

We did, however, fail to take a look at how Philly EDGE had thrown down the gauntlet in this week’s issue, with a cover story on the River Hot Dog Man, who sells hot dogs on the Delaware:

When did you first decide to make a living with your wiener?

(Laughs) Well…uh…I always was one big wiener.

What’s the most important feature of a wiener, size or taste?
Alright then…ummm. I think the taste is most important. [...]

How do first-timers generally react to your wiener?
(Groans) They really like our big juicy wieners.

Now Greg, we’ve talked a lot about your wiener, let’s talk a little bit about your buns. Do your buns ever get soggy or misshapen from being near the water all day?
Oh, no, no. (Laughs) We have very voluptuous and soft, fresh buns.

Impulse is going to have to do a story on a restaurant called Big Dick’s House of Crabs in order to beat this one.

[1] For the record, as an intern at the Bucks County Courier Times a few summers ago, I once spent an afternoon without shoes on, but that’s because I had to cross a muddy creek while doing a story about a high school class’ trip to the woods. I think the story landed on the front page. (Go back to the text.)

Frank remarks [Philly EDGE]
Yesterday: Red, Gray And Black Walls Mean YOUTH!