Philadelphia Will Do  
 

Kids Are Stupid, But, Well, Not That Stupid

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As we all know, kids are stupid. That’s why we call them kids! Today’s Northeast Times contains the letters of a sixth-grade class at Our Lady of Ransom, a Catholic grade school in Northeast Philadelphia. It’s one of those cutesy class projects where all the kids write letters to the editor.

I’ll say the things that need to be said: Perhaps there is some lead in the water, as these kids are a little too serious for sixth graders. Or maybe kids are just a little more advanced that I was as a sixth grader. Here’s a sampling:

Don’t be a birdbrain

It’s not right to steal from stores. The store could go out of business.

In 2005 there were 689,340 shoplifters and in 2003 there were 657,414. Most of the people were not even caught, and that is a 31,926 rise from 2003 to 2005.

One person stole a bird from a pet store in New Jersey and returned it.

I don’t get it. If you steal a bird, it means you can’t afford buying it. Why would you get a bird that you don’t have enough money to get! How do you think you are going to get the shots and items the bird needs?

So, think about it and wonder — how am I going to afford that bird?

God is good
I’m sick and tired of certain scientists trying to kill off God as though He’s just another reality show. These scientists need to stop saying there’s no God. Without God, how would we have been created? How was the Earth created?

I bet none of the scientists that spread these lies have gone to church since they were 10 years old.

People need to realize that God is real. To all those scientists out there, go read the Bible!

It’s the pits
I do not know what is wrong with people these days. They fight pit bull terriers to see which one is the strongest.

These dogs should not be known for fighting or as killers, they should be known for being lovable pets.

I am also sick and tired of hearing on the news that these dogs are attacking people. It is not the dog, it is the owner who makes them the way they are.

My statistics told me that 200 pit bulls are being put down in one year. I think that is ridiculous. The law has to stop doing this.

If you were a pit bull, how would you like to be treated?

Take the ticket
I think we should just take the traffic ticket. They are just going to mail it to you anyway, so just take the ticket. A lot of times, policemen get shot for giving people traffic tickets.

I had no idea kids were concerned about such problems as shoplifting, atheistscientists, pit bulls and the danger of traffic ticket handovers.

Then again, these kids aren’t that stupid: They do have a bit firmer grasp on reality than our current administration:

Bring the troops home

Our troops should come home from Iraq because families are losing their loved ones.

Many U.S. soldiers have died already. How many more will die before the war ends?

I am positive that war is not the solution to get revenge on the terrorists. Our soldiers are risking their lives, and the least our country can do is end the war.

Put yourself in their Army boots. If you were fighting for freedom, how would you feel about missing your family and fearing that you could die any day?

* * *

Our troops should come home from Iraq because families are losing their loved ones. More than 2,000 American troops have died already. Thirty-eight thousand Iraqis have also died and 75 are wounded every day.

So how would you feel if your relative died in the war and you could never speak to them again?

Hey, these kids are all right with me. If I were a pit bull, I’d like to be treated well, thank you.

Letters 6/1 [Northeast Times]

  1. The 14th Windiest State Says: Jun 1 4:38 PM

    That one kid brings up a good point- Scientists have been responsible for the deaths of at least forty reality shows in the last two years alone and I haven’t seen a single mention of it in the liberal media.

  2. Schnaars Says: Jun 2 10:02 AM

    I’m just happy to see that these tenacious little rascals are receiving a good Catholic education. Scientists haven’t gone to church since they were ten. Haven’t they read the Bible? I’m pretty sure that’s a sin or something.
    As for the ticket kid, did he miss the lecture about abusing statistics? Couldn’t we have gotten something like: for every 100 tickets written, 15 police men are shot while on duty.
    And if I were a pitbull, I think I’d rather enjoy fighting. How else would I be able to prove that I was the strongest?

  3. chris Says: Jun 2 11:50 AM

    “God is real, just check out this pamphlet which my religion was written by God himself”

    What’s sad is that adults make these same arguments

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