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May
30
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 NBC 10 recently looked at a question that, surely, many parents must be worried about: When is a good time for your child to start dating?
The gist of the story is that if you don’t do something right this instant, your child will die. One parent says kids shouldn’t date until after high school. More teenage girls get pregnant at four in the afternoon than any other time. Et cetera.
But the key quotation comes from family counseling expert Lynne Marie Boykin, about when a child should start dating:
“Some kids are hot at 12, and some are nerds and just not ready until they are 16, 17. They’re just not ready for dating.”
Gee, I’m sure that makes the nerds feel much better, Lynne.
Is Your Child Ready To Start Dating? [NBC 10]
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dmac | 3:03 PM | 50 Comments
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May
30
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There’s an article in today’s Inquirer about the immigration debate, but that’s not really what it’s about. It’s an article about assholes, and how they run some of our more popular local businesses.
Or, really, only one. The asshole in question here is Joe Vento, owner of Geno’s, who has a sign on his window that says “This is America. When Ordering, Speak English.” Vento certainly has every right to run his business how he pleases, since this is America! But we (fortunately) all have the right to mock him, call him an asshole and wonder why someone pointing to ‘provolone’ would get you all riled up?
Vento doesn’t limit his assholic behaviors to Geno’s, though:
With Geno’s Steaks tattooed on his arm, Vento is used to publicizing things, especially what’s on his mind. Speak English signs also poster his Hummer. He has driven through South Philadelphia blaring through the SUV’s P.A. system denunciations of neighborhood business owners who hire illegal immigrants.
“I say what everybody’s thinking but is afraid to say,” Vento said. [...]
“They want us to adapt to these people. What do you mean, ‘Press 1 for Spanish’? English, period. Case closed. End of discussion. You better make it the official language.”
Ahh, yes, the old American tradition of going around a neighborhood and blasting your stereo and telling your neighbors you hate them. And, really, is there anything more American than getting all worked up about having to spend a half-second pressing ‘1′ for English? God Bless America!
Also, how does a deaf person order at Geno’s?
Thanks to The 14th Windiest State for the image, although I think Joe Vento only has one mood.
An old struggle to adapt to a new country’s ways [Inky]
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dmac | 1:50 PM | 60 Comments
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May
30
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A paragraph in a review of Pearl Jam’s weekend shows in yesterday’s Inquirer:
Their audience certainly has a clear idea of what Pearl Jam is and is not. Just ask the poor auxiliary keyboardist who accompanied Vedder on show opener “Life Wasted,” drawing prolonged boos.
I know we’re kind of assholes, but even Philadelphians don’t boo random band members at concerts, do we?
Oh:
Editor’s note: A review of Pearl Jam that appeared in Monday’s Inquirer incorrectly characterized the audience’s reponse to the keyboardist at Saturday’s show. The audience was not booing Kenneth “Boom” Gasper, but cheering him on by chanting his nickname.
Fortunately, Duce Staley, Clarence Weatherspoon and Hugh Douglas didn’t suffer the same editorial misjudgement during their time in Philadelphia.
Pearl jam gets refreshingly direct [Inky]
funny review of saturday’s philly show [The Sky I Scrape]
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dmac | 12:07 PM | 52 Comments
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May
30
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Today’s Evening Bulletin has a full-page photo essay of Memorial Day events. Here’s the headline:
And the photo just below it:
I think those two were both at Guadalcanal, actually.
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dmac | 11:47 AM | 1 Comment
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May
30
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Metro columnist — who formerly wrote for the Inquirer — Clark DeLeon writes whines today about the sale of the Inqurier and Daily News, and reflects on a lawsuit filed by Philadelphia Newspapers, Inc., six-and-a-half years ago to stop Metro from being distributed by SEPTA:
In my first column almost six-and-a-half years ago, in the brand new Philadelphia daily newspaper with the snappy name — Metro — I wrote, “If you are reading this newspaper on your way to work or school, it represents a victory by the little paper that could over the media giants that tried to crush it in its cradle.”
Indeed. That little, plucky company-that-could, Metro, won the right to be distributed behind the turnstile on SEPTA platforms (an agreement that’s since been scrapped). Hey, wait, what’s that just to the right of DeLeon’s column?
Next week, DeLeon will write about a small, unknown start-up known as Wal*Mart, and how evil community members are attempting to keep it out of their neighborhood. And the following week, how those meanies in Nicetown are keeping out a little-known entrepreneur by the name of Donald Trump.
When the bullies become the bugs [Metro]
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dmac | 11:11 AM | 1 Comment
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May
30
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Ronnie Polaneczky: Hey, there’s a vaccine for cervical cancer. But some conservative groups are against it, because cervical cancer is sometimes caused by an STD. Then again, the the Pope — the freakin’ Pope — does things like go to Africa and look at AIDS-ravaged countries and says, “Don’t use condoms, the Lord hates it!” Hooray for religion! Here’s a link. And fuck you, Focus on the Family.
Elmer Smith: Members of Congress think they’re better than everyone else? No way!
John Baer: READER MAIL COLUMN! ALERT THE PULITZER COMMITTEE!
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dmac | 10:05 AM | 0 Comments
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May
30
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 Most legal decisions don’t begin with the words “Tucker Max describes himself as an aspiring celebrity ‘drunk’ and ‘asshole,’” — well, at least not since Marbury v. Madison’s similar opening — but then again most lawsuits aren’t as hilarious as this. On Friday, right about when I packed it in for the long weekend, the lawsuit filed by Anthony DiMeo against Tucker Max was dismissed.
Anthony DiMeo was suing Tucker Max (that’s him in the photo, with Morimoto) because of mean things said by forum members about DiMeo on Tucker’s eponymous website, and he’s now received a legal smackdown from the judge in a fairly entertaining decision that not only contains a reference to a Philadelphia Weekly article — you’ll be possibly read over in law schools for years, Cassidy! — but has references to names like ‘Jerkoff’ and ‘footinmouth.’
Max, on his website, writes:
The judge’s decision is awesome. … The best part is the last quote, it is fucking awesome:
“Here we do so by protecting the coarse conversation that, it appears, never ends on tuckermax.com”
Well, that or the part where a FEDERAL JUDGE quotes someone from my board using the phrase, “getting fisted by an angry gorilla” and “mold your face to what you think you would look like if a leper were about to take a shit in your mouth.” Best. Legal. Decision. Ever.
If I ever become president — and if I do ever run for office, all anyone needs to do to derail my campaign is quote from any random selected post on this website — I would propose a law that requires all court decisions to contain the phrase “fisted by an angry gorilla.”
This isn’t really surprising, though. After all, DiMeo’s lawyer for this case was a man who had this on his website:
A true “Lawyer’s Lawyer”, Matthew is proud and flattered by continuously receiving referrals and praise from unaffiliated attorneys (even suprisingly from those who were once his opposing counsel).
You might think the fun might be over. No more DiMeo randomly threatening to sue any independent blogger who happens to report on a disastrous party he has or says things about him other than “Anthony DiMeo is awesome and throws the best parties!” You might think that this decision has affirmed that the Internet is a place where people who are, say, blueberry heirs can’t simply use their money to threaten to squelch any criticism of them. You, of course, would be wrong. According to our buddy Daniel Rubin, DiMeo is planning on appealing:
Tucker Max should not only expect a possible appeal to this one judges decision, but select members of his TuckerMax.com following should expect individual lawsuits to be filed against them for the countless false, inaccurate and misleading statements they have clearly posted on Mr. Max’s web site. Without a doubt, these type of legal battles are very, very costly… but, to me, it’s most certainly worth it to make people like Tucker Max pay for their wrongful actions. Tucker Max demeans women and promotes character assassinations; and this is something we must not allow in our society.
Apparently, the fun just won’t stop. Although I’m glad DiMeo has attempted to jump on the “Tucker Max demeans women” bandwagon, even though that wasn’t, exactly, what he was suing him for. I’m not quite sure it’ll work. I mean, could there be anything more demeaning than being a model for DiMeo’s PR firm?
TUCKER WINS!!! DIMEO LOSES!!! [Tucker Max Blog]
Matthew B. Weisberg [PPWLaw.com]
April 5: DiMeo v. Max, The Lawsuit — And The Party!
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dmac | 9:53 AM | 0 Comments
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May
30
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Saturday’s Daily News contained a Dan Gross article on page 2 about Teri Hatcher and her love for Philadelphia. Apparently, Teri Hatcher loves Philadelphia! It was written about in a magazine! This is the biggest thing to happen here since independence!
Gross writes:
For a cover story in the current American Way magazine, the “Desperate Housewives” star chose Our Town as her favorite place to visit. She gushes about sights, restaurants and nightlife to the magazine, which is found on American Airlines flights and online at americanwaymag.com.
We began to think something was fishy when we read how she replied when asked about dancing in town. Hatcher says, “Philadelphia primarily has a lounge and a hip-hop scene, but there are a couple of great dance scenes too,” and called Tommy Up’s Mojito parties “the best.” Nothing against Tommy’s party, but we had to question the level of detail in her description of the event. [...]
Tommy Up, who was in Maui last night when reached by phone, saw the story on a plane and was thrilled, sending out an e-mail to his mailing list that he’s going to “go to LA and make out with her and make babies.”
Coming later this week, an article about Dean Cain, and how he expressed his love for Philadelphia in Delta Sky.
Dan Gross | If Teri ’s desperate, it’s for Philly [DN]
Desperate for a getaway? [American Way]
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dmac | 9:07 AM | 2 Comments
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